


Forgive and Forget

by Bobo_is_tha_Bomb



Series: Ever After series [2]
Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M, Lemon, Reader-Insert, Romance, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-28
Updated: 2020-01-20
Packaged: 2020-03-20 17:24:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 43,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18997162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bobo_is_tha_Bomb/pseuds/Bobo_is_tha_Bomb
Summary: You’d infiltrate Preventer and expose that fact that it employed and protected terrorists. But that mission proves to be quite a challenge, all information regarding personnel carefully guarded. And the challenge becomes even greater when you meet Special Agent Duo Maxwell. He is pretty much the man of your dreams, all devilish charm, good looks, and bravado. And he kisses like the Devil. You are swept under and recklessly pursue and affair with him. But there is still your double agenda, and that is bound to make everything come crashing down around you. Especially when you find out that Duo is not exactly the man he said he was… DuoxReader





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wasn’t sure in what order I had to start posting this series. I figured I’d go with the most recent one. I’ll have to read over the older ones and edit them and that is gonna take some time. 
> 
> I hope you’ll enjoy this story! :)
> 
> Disclaimer: I don’t own Gundam Wing, it’s characters, or you.

**Forgive and Forget  
Part 1**

_Preventer Headquarters - Brussels, AC 201_

You tried to ignore the nervous fluttering in your stomach as you entered the towering glass and steel construction that made up Preventer Headquarters. You willfully rolled your shoulders back and forced yourself to relax. Nobody was going to notice anything, you told yourself. Nobody would know about your double agenda. The lobby was bustling with agents, rookies and superiors alike, and you quickly checked the form with information that had been sent to your email. You were to find an Agent named Po, who was to direct you to your desk. You already knew the task that had been assigned to you. The department’s secretary. Nothing conspicuous, nothing out of the ordinary. 

You had been careful during the two years you had spent at the academy. You had done your utmost best not to stand out. Your fighting skills were adequate, but nothing extraordinary. You had played your role well, you thought with some grim satisfaction. You had excelled in the classes on research and administration. Carefully selected subjects that would lead you towards the information that you needed. Subjects that would lead you to your act of revenge. 

“-Y/N-!” 

You turned around at the sound of your name being called and allowed a genuine smile to form. You liked July. You had befriended her at the academy, something that you had initiated because it would have seemed odd if you didn’t hang out with any of your ‘peers’. But you had actually really liked July from the start. Her warm and open personality had drawn you and you had found yourself seeking her company at any given opportunity. The tiny redhead never hesitated to speak her mind, and during the weekends you had often found yourself being dragged off to a mall or a bar. She had turned the years at the academy bearable, and had offered you the distraction that you sometimes needed.

July hugged you and grinned. “I’m so excited! Let’s go find this Agent Po. She should be around somewhere here.”

“She?” you questioned over the cacophony of voices. 

“Yep. Agent Po is a girl.” July grinned slyly. 

You looked around, trying to spot a woman with an authoritative stand and found only one admits the chaos. She had long blond hair that she carried in loose braids, and legs that seemed to go on for miles in her uniform. Her skin was fair and clear, and the only make-up she wore was bit of mascara and a vivid red lipstick. 

“Ugh,” July groaned as she followed your line of vision. “Wouldn’t it be nice if we all could look like a femme fatale with just a bit of lipstick?”

“I hardly think she is one,” you said. The woman seemed to radiate a warmth and friendliness that could never be found in the stereotype. 

July grinned. “You’re sure? Rumor has it that she has a younger agent named Chang wrapped around her finger.”

You cocked your head to the side, taking in the new bit of information. July always knew all the rumors. And quite a few of them turned out to be true. You set course for the woman and saw how she noticed your approach. A warm, welcoming smile spread on her face.

“May I help you?” she asked as you reached her.

“Agent -L/N- and Agent Golden,” you quickly introduced yourself and July, while glancing at her batch. Indeed, she was Agent Po. “I think you know where we have to go.”

“I do.” She grinned at you and looked at the clipboard she was holding. “If you can wait with the rest of the group, I’ll take you upstairs soon.”

You spotted a small group of young women behind her, waiting with feigned patience. You joined them and gave them a small smile. “Good morning.”

You got a few mumbled replies. July stood next to you and together you eyed the situation in the lobby with interest. Preventer had academies all over the Earth Sphere, and only a lucky few would be selected for work at headquarters. You spotted many unfamiliar faces, agents that would probably be joining in the field, as the recruits selected for the office work came from the Brussels Academy. There was one young woman that you didn’t recognize however, that came to join your group. 

“Alright.” Agent Po grinned and mentioned you to follow her. “We’re complete so let’s head upstairs.”

You followed her to the elevators and soon found yourself swept under as she took you up to the floors that held the offices. She would find each department head and send a new recruit to them for instructions. Soon enough, your turn came up. Only you, July, and the unfamiliar recruit were left.

“So… you three ladies.” Sally swept around a corner that led to the main hallway on the sixth floor. “This will be your station.”

The hallway was wide and spacious, decorated with several potted plants. Across from the elevators stood a big work station housing three Mahoney desks. 

“Nice…” July whistled appreciatively. 

“You three will serve as the secretaries to this department,” Sally explained. “I am one of the agents you will be working for. Agent Golden, you will be working for me and Agent Simons most of the time, and part time for Agent Barton when he is in.”

July nodded eagerly and grinned. “Great.”

“Then Agent Kelly. You will be working for Agent Brown and Agent Wilson.” Sally turned towards the other Agent standing beside you. 

The young woman nodded and gave a shy smile. “Okay.”

And then Sally turned her gaze on you. “And you will work for three agents. As one is mostly away on undercover assignments, he won’t need you much. You will work for Agent Yuy and Agent Chang, and Agent Maxwell when he is in.”

You gave Sally a smile and nodded. “Alright.”

“So…”Sally gestured towards the desks. “You can get settled in. You received your login codes, right?”

You approached the desks and found the one that held your name plate. You smiled as Agent Kelly took the desk next to yours. “From which academy did you come?”

“The one on L3,” she said while holding out her hand for you to shake. “My name is Dina.”

“Wow,” July breathed. “All the way from space.”

Dina smiled shyly. “Yeah. So what about you guys?”

“We went to the academy in Brussels together,” July said, while slinging an arm around your waist. “She might say it wasn’t fun, but that’s a lie.”

You rolled your eyes and gave July a playful shove. “Shut up.”

You settled behind your desk and got to work, logging on to your account and installing your email to your liking. You spend some time reading over the few emails that had already been sent to you. They mostly contained instructions on how to use the Preventer Data base. There was also an email from Agent Yuy, stating that he would come by later that morning to take you on a tour through the building. The tone of his email was not altogether unfriendly, and you hoped he would be a nice guy to work for.

You didn’t hate Preventer. You actually had seen what good the organization did and how hard at work the Agents were to maintain peace. But it was also an organization that was rumored to protect terrorists, and even provided them with a job and income. Instead of sending them to prison where they belonged, you thought bitterly. But that wouldn’t matter. As soon as you’d found out who they were, you would expose them. And kill one of them. 

“-Y/N-?”

You blinked and shook yourself out of your stupor. “Yes?”

July was smiling at you. “Are you okay? You zoned out for some time. Agent Yuy is here.”

You felt color rush to your cheeks and you quickly bolted up from you chair. And came face to face with the most gorgeous guy you had ever seen. He was about your age, you guessed, and had dark blue eyes and brown hair that fell carelessly over his forehead in messy locks. He was taller than you, and broad shouldered, filling out his uniform nicely. He held himself in a way that made him intimidating as hell and you swallowed thickly as you met his assessing gaze. 

“Sorry,” you apologized with a sheepish smile and held out your hand. “I’m -Y/N-.”

He took your hand and gave it a firm shake. “Heero Yuy.”

His voice was monotone, but nice. Oh, July and you would be sighing and moaning over him over drinks later that day, you mused. You quickly moved around your desk and he mentioned you to follow him.

“First stop,” he said as he came to a halt next to an open door. “My office.”

“Good to know,” you said with a chuckle. “Where’s Agent Chang’s office?”

Heero pointed to another door, which was still closed. “Over there. He’ll be here around noon.”

“And Agent Maxwell’s?” you questioned. 

“He doesn’t have an office,” Heero said with a shrug. “Not like he would use it anyway.”

He continued down the hallway, pointing out the kitchenette, the copy machine, and the room with office supplies. 

“So what do you and Agent Chang expect of me?” you asked as you followed him to the elevators. 

“You’ll be in charge of our agenda’s and management of our inboxes when we’re away. Collecting files for our missions from the research department will also be one of your tasks,” he said as he stepped into the elevator. 

That certainly piqued your interest. Although you’d have to be careful with snooping around. 

“You’ll take our calls too of course.”

“Of course,” you agreed. 

“You’ll have a mandatory work out of one hour each day. Even though you’re not expected to do field work, we’d like to keep your skills up to par.”

You exited the elevator and peeked through the window in the door that led to the gym. There were some Agents about, and you nearly sighed as you realized you would have to do your work out among them. You’d have to pretend, because you weren’t as bad as you had led Preventer to believe. You had kept it up for two years, what were another few months going to be? 

“If you want, I could work out with you,” Heero offered.

“Err… I’ll think about it.” You ducked your head to hide your blush. Work out with him… Just the thought made your mouth run dry. It would be safer to work out alongside July. 

A small smirk came to play over his face. “I read your file. I might teach you something.” 

The casual way he delivered that statement could have been condescending, but the look in his eyes was dead serious. He was not making fun of you. 

You gave shrug. “Why not.”

He gave a curt nod before moving on, back to the elevator. The next floor housed the research department. You were introduced to several men and women, who Heero and Agent Chang relied on for information. 

“So,” you started as you made your way back up to the sixth floor. “What is your role within Preventer exactly?” 

“I’m a field agent and design and maintain the office software on the side.” 

“And Agent Chang?” 

“Still a field agent, but not for much longer.” Heero stepped out of the elevator. “He’ll promote to a commanding position in a few months.” 

You arrived back at your work station and found that both July and Dina were gone. They probably were receiving their own tours of the building. 

“Thanks for the tour,” you said. “I’ll get back to getting settled in.” 

“Sure. If you have any questions feel free to ask me.”

You gave him a smile and nodded. He went back to his office, and you went to the kitchenette to fix yourself a cup of tea. When you returned to your desk, you found another agent waiting in front of it. You gave him a questioning look.

“Are you -Y/N-?” he asked.

You nodded and smiled at him. Just like Heero, he was gorgeous, with jet black hair and dark, almost black eyes. His asian feature were sharp, with well defined cheekbones and a golden complexion. He too, was about your age. 

He extended his hand for you to shake. “Wufei Chang.” 

“Aah… Nice to meet you.” 

Quite young for an agent about to be promoted. He had to be either exceptionally good, or with the agency for a good few years.

“I believe Heero gave you a tour?” 

“He did,” you confirmed. 

“Good. I’ll leave you to get settled in further then.” 

You sank down in your chair and gave a secretive smile as he disappeared to his office. So that was Agent Chang. Pity he was so good looking. And wrapped around Agent Po’s finger, if July was right. 

You’d have to sit back and observe for a while, find out which of the men you worked for would be the most careless. Patience. Patience had gotten you through the two years at the academy and the years before that. You could last a little longer. 

You smiled around the rim of your cup. After all, if you managed to do your work right, all of those bastards would fall.

-x-x-x-

The days turned into weeks, and you made slow progress. You willed yourself not to be frustrated. Rome hadn’t been build in one day either, you told yourself. It was difficult to snoop around, all information on Preventer’s personnel safely guarded. Of course it was. Heero had designed the software, so it was pretty much impossible to breach. That bastard knew how to build his software to an impenetrable standard that would make many government organizations jealous. Or anxious if it was ever found out what Preventer hid from the general public in their databases. 

You, as a secretary, had limited access to them. The research department had more access, but they only provided you with folders containing information related to Heero’s and Wufei’s latest cases. Nothing that was of use to you. 

Nevertheless, despite your slow progress, you enjoyed working for Preventer. The salary was pretty good, and the work was interesting, once you got the hang of it. Once a week, you worked out with Heero in the gym. You enjoyed these hours more and more, because as the weeks progressed, you could actually let go of the facade of not being an adequate fighter. You were careful to only incorporate the things he taught you into your work outs, so that none would notice you had been slacking at the academy on purpose. 

Everything was running smoothly, until one day, Ivy showed up.

She was casually lounging away in the high backed armchair in your apartment when you came home. You hadn’t noticed her at first, so when you stepped into the living room and caught her movements from the corner of your eyes, you nearly shrieked and dropped the bag of groceries you had been holding. 

You were quick to compose yourself. “Ivy. What are you doing here?” 

She gave you a sweet smile, but combined with her cold, dead eyes, it made you shiver with unease. You had always thought her to be mentally unstable, a result of her war trauma. She was unpredictable and had resorted to extreme violence several times. You had always steered clear of her, not wanting to become one of her victims. You weren’t about to start being one now.

“I’m just checking up on you.” 

“I send Chris a report last Friday.” You walked into the kitchen and started putting your groceries away. 

“I found your report to be lacking.” Ivy got up from the chair and came to lean against the door post. Her bright green eyes followed your every movement. 

“Preventer is not an easy organization to infiltrate,” you said coolly. “As my report mentioned, the databases are extremely secured and at this point I barely have access to them.” 

“So get that access.” 

“It’s not that simple.” You shook your head. “I’m doing my best, but I’ve only been at work at Head Quarters for a couple of weeks. I need more time.” 

“I’m not very patient.” 

That statement told you that she had not informed Chris about coming here. She was acting on her own. _Bad mistake, Ivy._

“Chris told me to take all the time I need.” You casually poured yourself a glass of juice and leaned back against the counter. “If I manage to secure the information we need, we can bring those bastards down. But we only have one chance. I don’t plant to screw it up.” 

She scoffed and stalked off to the front door. “You better hurry up.” 

You heard the front door slam, and closed your eyes for a moment, reaching for a calm and collected mood. You’d contact Chris later to tell him to keep Ivy away from you. You didn’t want her to mess up your mission. There was too much at stake and you couldn’t afford to screw up. You’d only have one chance and you couldn’t loose it because some mental chick wanted to get her own personal revenge. She’d have to sit back and wait, just like everybody else was doing.

-x-x-x-

There was a pile of folders waiting on your desk when you arrived at work the next day. There was a little note in Heero’s handwriting, asking you to make some copies of them, so you quickly booted up your computer and grabbed the folders, setting course for the copy room. The door was ajar, and you could hear somebody moving around inside, muttering obscenities at the copy machine.

You opened the door. “That thing is not going to work if you keep offending it you know.” 

The agent in the copy room stood with his back towards the door, and the first thing you noticed about him was the incredible thick rope of hair that streamed down his back in a neat braid. It was a rich chestnut color, and reached all the way down to his ass, his… very fine ass. You heart gave a little jolt as your eyes travelled up along his back, to his broad shoulders. You didn’t doubt that his shirt hid some well developed muscles. And when he turned around your heart did actually jump in your chest.

Your jaw slackened and it took you a moment to realize that you were staring. Well, who could blame you, you thought as you drowned in the most beautiful violet blue eyes you had ever seen. He had a beautiful face, good cheekbones and a strong jaw, and a wide, full mouth. Chestnut bangs carelessly fell over his forehead and framed his face. You took a breath, and another, just for the sake of it. He obviously noted your staring, as that sinful mouth twisted into a flirty grin.

“Hi,” he said.

Pleasant voice too… You could suppress your shiver of delight just in time and then remembered you you were supposed to speak.

“Hi,” you managed. Wow, so eloquent.

“Didn’t see you around the last time I was here.” 

You stepped forward. “I’ve only been working here for a about two months.” 

“I see.” He turned back to the copy machine and opened a panel on the side, glaring at the paper that had obviously jammed the machine. “Aha! Found it.” 

You noticed that he wasn’t wearing the mandatory Preventer Uniform. He was wearing the shirt, but the tie had been loosened, and instead of the black pants, he wore black biker jeans. Black, beat up Vans completed the look. 

“So you’re a rookie.”

“Secretary,” you supplied as you put the folders in your arms down on the side table. 

“Really? Who are you working for?” 

“Heero and Wufei.”

He grinned again and his eyes got a mischievous glint to them. “Really? Bet those two are a pain to work for.” 

“I can hear you, Maxwell!” 

You nearly jumped at the sound of Wufei’s voice coming from the doorway. The man next to you just chuckled and turned around. “What’s up, ‘Fei?”

“Don’t call me that.” Wufei glared at him. “What are you doing back here already?” 

“Oh well, you know. Finished the assignment and figured I’d stick around here for a while.” The tone in which he said it was casual enough to tell you he considered Wufei his friend.

“I see,” Wufei said. “And you’ve met your secretary.” 

“Huh?” 

You grinned at him. “Agent Maxwell, right? Nice to meet you.”

“Une said something about me finally getting a secretary. Call me Duo.” He grasped you hand in a firm shake, which send a pleasant bout of tingles up your arm, and gave you a wink. “ I promise you I’ll be less moody than those two.” 

Wufei grumbled something under his breath that sounded a suspicious lot like ‘idiot’, but Duo only chuckled. You smiled and gestured at the folders you had brought into the copy room.

“Are you done?” you asked him. “I need to make some copies too.” 

“Go ahead, Babe.” He grabbed his copies and original file from the machine and stepped away. 

You felt color rush to your cheeks at him using such a nickname in a casual way and prayed he wouldn’t see it. You quickly went to work, copying the requested pages, while Duo eased himself onto the table next to the copy machine.

“So how have your first weeks here been?” he asked.

“Good. Exhausting. Interesting.” You gave a laugh and shook your head. “Safe to say I’ve learned a lot.” 

“Imagine that.” He grinned at you. “So what do you do for Heero and Wufei? Never had a secretary before.” 

“Ever?” you asked.

“Special Agent. Didn’t need one before.” He gave shrug. 

“Well… I manage your agenda and take your call’s when you’re not in the office. You can request me to collect files from the research department.” You waved one of the files in the air. “And request copies of documents.” 

“Hmm…” His eyes got a mischievous glint to them. “Can I request you to bring coffee?”

“No. That you can get yourself.” You chuckled to yourself as you put the next file under the copier. “So… How long will you stay in Brussels?”

“Dunno yet.” His answer was vague and the tone told you that was deliberate. 

Well, you weren’t one to pry. “I see.” 

You collected your files and copies and gave him a smile. “I have to bring these to Heero. See you later.” 

He gave you a wave and wink and you tried to not blush on your way out.

-x-x-x-

“Seriously,” July said with great feeling after taking a sip from her wine. “Why do you get to work for the hot men? It’s not fair.” 

You chuckled into your own glass and gave her a cheeky grin. “I got lucky.” 

“Very lucky…” Dina said with a smile. 

“Christ…” July slammed back her wine. “Have you seen Agent Maxwell’s ass?”

Oh, you had caught yourself staring at it plenty of times the past few weeks. At his biceps too… in the gym. The man looked so good it should have been illegal. And those good looks came with a charming an nice personality to match. He was all smooth talk and jokes, so different from the other two men that you worked for. You found yourself liking the divergence. 

Duo Maxwell was quite the distraction, you mused. And you had to be careful around distractions. Even so, you couldn’t help but indulge in a little fantasy about him every now and then. 

“Speak of the Devil…” Dina said while gesturing in the direction of the bar’s entrance.

“Well, hello…” July drawled. 

You glanced towards the entrance and had to swallow thickly as you watched Duo enter the bar, followed by Heero and Wufei. You had never seen the latter two of them at this place before, so you guessed it was Duo who had dragged them out. Friends outside the office, noted. You, July, and Dina had made it a habit to gather at a local diner on Friday’s after work, and usually went barhopping afterwards. You told yourself it was necessary to keep your cover safe, but it was also fun. It seemed so _normal_ , something you had lacked all your life. 

Dina giggled and slid out of her seat. “Let’s play some pool.” 

And get closer to the men in the process. Dina had been shy at first, but she had quickly opened up, turning out to be quite cunning at times. You loved that sly trait of hers. You shot July a grin and got up as well. “Coming?”

July got to her feet and slipped her arm around your waist as you sauntered over to a free pool table.

You were well into your first game when the men gathered around your table. 

“Mind if we join you for the next round?” Duo asked.

“We won’t mind if you buy us a drink,” July said with a flirty grin. 

He chuckled. “What’re you having?” 

“Chardonnay,” Dina and July said in unison.

Duo gave you a questioning look. “What about you, Babe?” 

“Same,” you said with a smile.

“Sure. Coming right up, Ladies.” 

July hit you hard in the ribs when Duo went to the bar to order your drink.

“Ow! Jeez, what you do that that for?” you whined.

“He called you ‘Babe’,” she hissed. 

You gave a little shrug, having gotten used to Duo calling you that. You gave July a wicked little smile. “So?” 

“He’s flirting with you.” 

Alright, -Y/N-, no giggling. “So?” 

July’s grin turned very sly. “You gonna flirt back?” 

You shrugged. “Dunno yet.” 

Duo returned with the drinks and you quickly finished your game, so that the men could join you for the next round.

“No cheating,” Duo warned.

Heero smirked at him. “The only one who cheats here is you.”

Wufei snorted and leaned in for his first shot. “We’ll make sure to keep an eye on your both.”

The game progressed, with Duo sinking quite a few shots. When he came out the victor, he grinned at you. “Buy me a beer, Babe.” 

You chuckled and patted his shoulder. “Only because you won.” 

“Only?” He smirked and set after you, leaning against the bar as you ordered the next round of drinks. 

You were very aware of him, could feel the weight of his gaze. It was odd, Heero had this insanely intense look in his eyes all the time, but that intensity fell short in comparison to when Duo looked at you. It probably was because you were attracted to him. 

“You clean up nicely,” he said casually, taking one of the beers that the bartender put down and sipping from it. 

You could practically feel his eyes roaming over the silk blouse and skinny jeans and smiled. “Thanks. You too.”

His black jeans emphasized powerful thighs and the firm curve of his buttocks, and the thin, long sleeved shirt only added to it. Through the fabric you could see the outlines of his biceps and pectoral muscles, making your mouth run dry, and especially when you noticed the hint of ink on his collarbones. Intriguing… This was bad, you realized. But as a jolt of heat settled in your belly, you found yourself not caring one bit. 

“You do this often?” he asked.

“What?”

He shrugged. “Going out after work.”

“Every Friday.” You paid the bartender and took the tray with glasses. 

As you turned around and started walking back Duo’s hand settled on the small of your back. The casual touch made tingles run up and down your spine. You even dared to think it was a little possessive and dared a look at him from under your lashes. His gaze was trained on you. He was no longer smiling, the look in his eyes a little heated. It made your heart skip a beat. 

As you reached the pool table, you caught the questioning look that Heero send Duo’s way. Duo just smirked and handed him a beer. Wufei and Dina seemed deep in conversation and July gave you a grin as she grabbed their drinks from the tray.

“History freaks,” she said simply.

“Aaaah…” You chuckled and put the tray down, taking your wine and sipping it. “You and Heero must have felt so left out.”

Heero snorted into his beer and Duo chuckled. 

“Alright…” July said. “New game?” 

It was way past midnight when you reached your apartment. Duo had kindly offered to walk you home as he lived close by, to which July had send you a knowing look. You hadn’t cared one bit, as after a few good glasses of wine, all inhibitions had disappeared. All you could think of was being close to Duo. As you had walked, he had slung his arm around your shoulders and you had reveled in the warmth of his body and his scent. 

Duo gazed up at the building and whistled through his teeth. “Fancy place.” 

“It has its charms,” you agreed with a smile as you gazed up at the classic architecture. “It has a nice view of the city.” 

“I can imagine.” A smirk came to play over his face. “Gonna show it to me some day?” 

You felt all the air rush from your lungs as the look in his eyes. The heat was back, and in combination with the twist of that sinful mouth, he looked positively devious. “I might,” you managed.

“I’ll hold you to that.”

He was quick to turn you around and press you up against the wall and then his mouth was on yours. You thought of fireworks exploding, and yanked him closer, opening your mouth underneath his. His tasted flooded your senses, and a moan escaped you as his tongue seduced yours in a wicked dance. His body was all hard muscles as he pressed against you, and you couldn’t stop yourself from sliding a hand down his chest. The feeling of well defined abs through the fabric of his shirt was enough to make you dizzy with need. His hands weren’t still either, one boldly sliding down to squeeze your buttock, and you strained against him, rising up on your toes to feel more of him against you. 

He broke kiss, his breathing labored, and grinned at you. “We gotta stop, Babe…” 

You swallowed thickly. “Why? I…”

“I’m gonna go about this the right way.” 

“Huh?” 

He chuckled and leaned in again. The kiss was gentle, the complete opposite of the passionate way he had kissed you before. “We’ve been drinking. See you at work, Babe.” 

You were left utterly confused as he sauntered away, his hands stuffed in the pockets of his leather jacket. You watched him go, braid swinging back and forth as he moved. You raised a hand to your lips, were the tasted of him still lingered and a small smile formed on your lips. That man kissed like the Devil, but apparently had the honor of a saint. 

You slowly moved away from the wall and made your way up to your apartment in a dream like state. You didn’t turn on any lights and undressed in the dark, sliding under the sheets and stretching languidly. You reached for your phone and unlocked it, seeing that you had several new messages.

July and Dina were stalking you through a group chat. You chuckled and started typing.

_I’ve just been kissed senseless._

_I KNEW IT!!!_ July texted back. 

_Is he a good kisser?_ Dina asked.

You bit your lip as you thought back to the kiss. _All but devoured me._

_Well, well…_ It was July again. _You girls have been busy._

_-Y/N- has been busy. I just held polite conversation._

_Who are you kidding, Dina?_ July asked. _You were gobbling up everything Chang had to say._

You couldn’t help but laugh and dropped the phone on the nightstand. You rolled onto your back and stared up at the ceiling. 

Things had gotten a hell of a lot more interesting.

-x-x-x-

You spend the weekend going over some data that Chris had send you, carefully studying the information before saving it on the flash drive that you kept in a secret compartment underneath your desk. It was information from an old OZ database, detailing the captivity of the Gundam Pilots on the Lunar Base in AC 195. There were no names or pictures, no information to identify them by. Of course not, Preventer had all the abilities to delete such information. But the contents still made your stomach turn. It described torture, beatings, grueling tests that some of them had been put through. 

OZ had been nasty, you thought. 

You saved the information and hid it away, before going outside for a walk. You needed to clear your head and think. After last night…

You halted and took a deep breath. You had to stay away from Duo. If you got involved with him, he would get in the way of your mission and that was something you had to avoid at all cost. You had to succeed, had to prove yourself. You weren’t as worthless as your parents thought, damn it. 

But it was so tempting… And he had been so considerate, walking away because you had been drinking. And how were you supposed to face him at work now? Act as if nothing had happened? God damn it, you worked for him! Confusion swirled wildly in your mind and you continued your walk in a brisk pace, a deep scowl on your face. How the hell were you supposed to balance your mission, work, and Duo Maxwell at the same time? But the longer you thought about it, the harder the answer seemed. 

With your mood still dark you returned home. As the door fell shut behind you, you made your decision. _Sorry, Duo. But it’s not gonna work._

Monday came rolling around, and with your determination strong, you went to work. When you arrived at your work station, Dina was already typing away behind her computer.

“Morning,” you greeted her.

“Morning.” Dina looked up and gave you a dazzling smile. “Wufei just came by and put these folders on your desk. He asked if you could return them to the research department.”

Well, well… you thought. Overnight Agent Chang had become Wufei. “Since when do you call him by his first name?” 

She blushed madly. “Shut up.”

You chuckled and scooped the folders up. “Be right back.”

You made your way down to the research department. In the elevator you curiously sneaked a peek into the folders. Nothing interesting that could be of use to you, you quickly found out. Just some info on a project on L4 led by Winner Inc. You turned in the folders and went back upstairs again, booting up your computer and starting your day. 

July came barging in half an hour later, looking pissed as hell. “God damn it, I’m late.” 

“Chill… I’ll get you some coffee,” you said practically. “You want some too, Dina?” 

“Sure.” 

You got up and went to the kitchenette, fixing the three of you some coffee. Just as you were about to exit the small room, Heero showed up in the doorway.

“Oh, -Y/N-.” He gave you a nod in greeting. “I won’t be able to work out with you today.” 

“Oh…” You gave him a disappointed look. You had been looking forward to the work out as you really needed to blow of some steam. And besides that, Heero was a great teacher.

“I asked Duo to work out with you,” he told you.

That made you swallow thickly. Good God… there went your plan of steering clear of Duo. “Sure…” you said, although a little reluctantly. 

“Sorry, I need to catch a flight to Sanc during the afternoon,” he said by means of apology. “I’ll be back on Friday if things go smoothly.”

“I’ll be sure to clear your agenda,” you said. “Seems a little sudden though.” 

“The Vice Foreign Minister’s head of security is ill. I’ll be taking over.” 

“Don’t they have any other bodyguards to take over?” You questioned out of curiosity.

He gave a shrug. “Under normal circumstances, yes, but she’s been a target of death threats lately.” 

“Better safe than sorry,” you agreed. “Have fun, I’d say. Be careful.” 

He nodded. “Thanks.” 

“Are you expecting any emails that I need to forward to you immediately?” 

“No.” He looked deep in thought for a moment then shook his head. “Not that I know of.” 

“Alright.” 

You moved passed him and gave him a smile. “See you around.” 

“Hn.” 

Back at the work station, you handed out the coffee and sat down behind your desk again. You tried to concentrate, but it was difficult. Especially now that you knew you’d have to face Duo later that day. You shook your head and sternly berated yourself, setting out to clear Heero’s schedule. Kind of odd that they would task a Preventer Field Agent with the security of the Vice Foreign Minister. There was a special division within Preventer that was in charge of security of political figures. Why would they ask Heero?

At that moment, you heard raised voices down the hallway. You and the girls exchanged curious looks. 

“It says black pants! Doesn’t specify which!” You heard Duo argue.

You heard an frustrated sigh, followed by an unfamiliar female voice. “You, Maxwell, will be the death of me some day.”

The next moment, a tall woman came brushing past. The authority streamed off of her in waves, and you caught Dina staring after her in awe.

“That’s Commander Une,” she whispered.

“Really?” July questioned. “Wow… Duo must be something if she comes down here to scold him about not wearing the proper uniform.” 

“A pain in the ass.” You jolted at the sound of Wufei’s voice behind you and gave him a sheepish look. There was a slightly amused look in his eyes. “That’s what she considers Maxwell to be.”

You chuckled. “Right. What can I do for you?” 

“I have a meeting after lunch. Can you take my calls?” 

“Sure.” You checked his schedule and noticed he had already blocked the time himself. You blocked the time in your agenda as well. “Done.” 

“Thanks.” He handed you a stack of files. “I’ll need copies of these. I specified which pages.” 

You nodded and took the folders from him. “I’ll get right on to it.” 

You made your way into the copy room and started on the task given. But as you leafed through the files, the information in them caught your attention and made your blood run cold. _OZ weapons factory in North America._ Fuck. You swallowed thickly and quickly went to work, copying the entire files. You wouldn’t have the time to read through the information at work, so you’d have to smuggle it home. You gathered the copied pages and put them in a file folder, making sure to keep them apart from the rest, and then finished the copies that Wufei had requested. 

You were just finished, when you felt someone creep up behind you, and large hands came to cover your eyes.

“Hi Babe.” Duo’s voice was low and husky in your ear, and caused you to shiver. 

You froze, your breath clogging in your throat. “Duo…” 

He lowered his hands and you turned around, noticing that he had closed the door behind him. You had been so lost in thought that you hadn’t heard him approach, let alone enter the room. The mischievous glint in his eyes gave you a fair indication of what he was planning. You placed a finger over his lip when he leaned in.

“This is a bad idea,” you said softly. 

“Is it?” he questioned, his lips tilting into that devilish grin. 

“Yes,” you whispered. “We’re at work.”

“Not convincing enough.” He took your hand and pulled it away from his face, and leaned in to nibble on your jaw.

Heat slammed into your belly, and your previous objections, all the reasons you had came up with, almost flew out the window. Almost. 

“I can’t do this,” you told him. “I work for you.” 

“You think I care about that?” he asked with a chuckle.

“Maybe you don’t, but I do.” You quickly gathered the folders and skirted around him. “Sorry.” 

He didn’t say anything as you left the room. You went back to your desk and stuffed your own copies of the files into your work bag. July and Dina were nowhere to be seen, so you considered yourself relatively safe. You went to Wufei’s office to drop off the files and copies you made for him and found yourself utterly frustrated when you sank in your chair again. This was bad… You couldn’t do this if Duo messed with your head. 

Your mission had to be your first priority. You took a deep, steadying breath and willfully relaxed your shoulders. Your mission was your first priority, and you had just discovered something that might be useful. You’d study the files in the evening and contact Chris about them. Back to work.

The day dragged on, and by the time you had to go to the gym, you had managed to settle your thoughts. You could do this. You had seen Duo take the elevator about an half hour ago, so you assumed he already had started his workout. You got up and gathered your belongings, before setting course to the elevator. You could do this, you kept telling yourself as you arrived in the changing room and found your locker. You’d work out, keep your thoughts straight. Duo Maxwell was just one of your colleagues and he had not, he had definitely not kissed you senseless last Saturday. It had been just a bit too much wine, too much playful banter. 

You forgot all about that when you entered the gym and found him punching away at a punching bag. You nearly swallowed your tongue, because today he had opted for a black wife beater that clung to his sweaty torso, showing off strong biceps and good heavens… you had nearly forgotten about the tattoo… It was still partially covered by the shirt, but you could see the top of what had to be a cross, a couple of skulls, an roses that reached up to his collar bones, all done in black and grey. You shook yourself out of your stupor. Focus, damn it.

Those unusual colored eyes noticed you and warmed. “So you’re here.” 

You shrugged casually. “I am.”

“Get warmed up. Then we’ll see what Heero taught you.”

Alright. You started on the treadmill and worked your way though a few reps of sit-ups and push ups, and then joined him on the mat. He grinned at you.

“I fight dirty, Babe, so you better keep your focus.” 

You narrowed your eyes at him. “Bring it on.” 

The first kick he aimed at you was brutal, his movements agile and fast. You found yourself straining to keep up. He was so different from Heero, who was always careful not to go up against you with his full strength. Duo had no such scruples, which became very clear as the sparring match progressed. And even more so when he floored you . The glint in his eyes was dangerous, and oddly alluring.

You lay gasping for air, the wind knocked out of you. “Jeez.”

“Alright?” he questioned.

“Yeah… just need to catch my breath.” You sat up and planted your hands behind you on the mat. “You’re hard to keep up with.” 

He chuckled and grabbed your arms, hauling you to your feet easily. “You need to practice more.”

You groaned. “Sure, sure.” 

“I’ll work out again with you tomorrow, if you want.”

You nodded. “Why not. Thanks. I’ll be heading home.”

He gave you an easy wave and grinned. “See ya.” 

When you turned around to go to the changing room, you couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed that he had let you go so easily.

-x-x-x-

The information you had copied described the ESUN’s effort to demolish old OZ and Alliance bases. The were several bases listed and you read over the info carefully. You didn’t understand why the Weapon Factory was listed among them, as it had been completely destroyed by Gundam 02 in AC 195, and the remains demolished in AC 197. There was nothing left there.

You had seen it for yourself after the attack, as a young, angry thirteen year old. You had been surrounded by grief stricken families, but had been unable to feel along with them. 

The info stated that Agent Maxwell and Agent Yuy had visited the site in AC 199 an had declared it empty. Hmm… So maybe Preventer was scouting out the old locations to make sure that none entered them. Made sense.

You got up and went to retrieve your tablet, using it to video call Chris. He smiled at you once the connection was established.

“-Y/N-. What have you got for me?” 

“Hi Chris. I thought I’d found something, but I’m no longer sure if it’s useful.”

“Tell me anyway.”

“I found some files that state that Preventer still investigates old OZ and Alliance bases.” 

“Could be because they don’t want anyone else to enter the facilities and use them,” Chris said. “What made the info catch your eye?” 

You swallowed thickly. “It mentioned the OZ weapon factory in North America.”

The look on Chris’s face turned solemn. “I see.” 

“Sorry, I thought it could be useful but it’s not.” 

“Don’t worry. I could still send some people to check out the other locations. Maybe Preventer keeps tabs on them because there’s still information lying around.” 

Was that why Heero and Duo had gone to the North American factory then? You wondered. 

“I’m not making much progress,” you said with a sigh. “It’s frustrating.”

“Don’t worry. We’ll get our revenge in time. Do what it takes, even if it means we have to wait another year.”

You smiled at his reassurance. “Thanks Chris.”

“Just try to come off as normal.”

You chuckled. “That’s going great, don’t worry.” 

“Good.” He winked at you. “I knew you could do it.” 

There had been times when his compliments had made you all flustered and happy. Now it just produced a feeling of accomplishment, nothing else. Chris had let you go, you reminded yourself. He was no longer interested in you that way and that was fine with you.

You send him pictures of the files and then ended the conversation. You sighed and leaned back in your seat. You were so damn frustrated. The information had not been particularly useful and now Chris would send people out on what would probably be a wild goose chase. Maybe it wouldn’t be, you reminded yourself. What if they indeed found useful information at one of the locations? Useful information that could bring you to your goal?

You’d have to sit back and wait. And in the mean time snoop around a little more.

-x-x-x-

You were just on your way up to your work station from the research department when your phone rang. You frowned in confusion at the caller’s ID, which simply stated _Anonymous._ What was this?

You picked up. “Hello?”

“Hello -Y/N-…” 

“Ivy,” you hissed, abruptly halting in your movements. “What the fuck are you thinking? Don’t call me at work.” 

“Cut the attitude. Chris may have gotten your hopes up, but I’m not that patient,” she told you sweetly. “Where is my information?”

“You’ll get it in time, like I said.” 

“Chris is too soft on you. Why is that? He’s no longer fucking you, is he?”

You could easily detect the jealousy in her tone. “Fuck off, Ivy.” 

You hung up and continued on your way, but the anger didn’t diminish. How dare she… You were lucky she had called you without the number visible. Your phone was not compromised. Yet. Fuck, you’d have to call Chris again to tell him to keep that bitch on a leash. Why couldn’t he fucking control her? Heaven knew what the hell he saw in her. You grumbled to yourself and dumped the files that Duo had requested on your desk before storming off to the washroom. You splashed cold water onto your face and waited until you could think clearly again before stepping out. 

_Fuck Ivy,_ you thought. _Fuck Chris._

Rebellion would cost you, but you felt like giving both the finger at the moment. You grabbed the files and headed to Duo’s office. Or the office he had claimed as his own. You weren’t so sure if Wufei was happy with having the braided man next door. 

“Got your files,” you said as you breezed in.

“Thanks, Babe.” He took them from you and gave you a little once over. “You okay?” 

“Yeah...” You turned around and made your way back. “Just a tiny tad frustrated.” 

“Wanna talk about it?” he offered.

You halted. You couldn’t talk about it. But getting rid of your frustration sounded so damn nice. Rebellion would cost you, you reminded yourself. _Aah, fuck it._ You reached for the door and closed it, before walking back to Duo. The determined look in your eyes made him raise an eyebrow in question, but you didn’t speak as you rounded his desk and grabbed his chair. You turned him towards you and climbed into his lap.

“I need to break some rules,” you told him. 

He smirked and slipped his arm around your waist. “Well Babe, you’ll find I have a knack for breaking them.” 

“Good.” 

You grabbed his braid and used your hold on it to pull him towards you and kissed him. This wasn’t just fireworks, you thought helplessly as you were swept under. This was a fucking earthquake, a volcanic eruption. His hand was in your hair, angling your head so he could deepen the kiss, and the wet slide of his tongue into your mouth had you moaning in appreciation. God, the man could kiss… You shimmied closer to him, pressing yourself up against him, and gasped when the hand around your waist slid down to cup your ass. 

“We’re so screwed,” you gasped when you tore away from the kiss.

Duo chuckled against your throat and the wicked sound of his laughter made you shiver uncontrollably. “Are we?” 

You realized you were trembling so hard that you had sagged against him. Not even Chris had had this effect on you, you thought darkly. _Take that, asshole._

“Sorry… I realize I’m being a little confusing.” 

He nibbled on your jaw, much in the same fashion as he had done the day before. “It’s okay, Babe. And you’re right. We shouldn’t be doing this at work.” 

You felt a smile tug on the corners of your mouth. “So… where does this leave us?” 

“Coffee after work?” 

You agreed without thinking. “Okay.” 

He chuckled and leaned in for another kiss. It was less rushed, but still send your blood singing. Jesus, you were so doomed. You slid out of his lap and smiled. 

“Your treat,” you told him as you stepped back.

He snorted. “Sure thing, Babe.” 

You left his office, still a little dazed, but your mood lifted.

A few hours later you were so regretting your decision to kiss him. God, what had you been thinking? You hadn’t been thinking, you thought darkly.

“What’s the matter?” July asked you as she caught you scowling at your computer screen.

“I’m stupid,” you told her.

“Hold on.” She got up and walked away, coming back a little later with two cups of coffee. “Short break.” 

“Thanks.” You accepted the cup and sighed. “I’m just overthinking. I think.”

“Duo?” she asked while lowering her voice.

You nodded. “I’m so damn confused.”

“So you kissed,” she said matter of factly. 

“Not just… You know what happens when he kisses me? I short circuit.” 

She chuckled. “If that happens from only a kiss, imagine what would happen if you ended up in bed with him.”

“Oh, jeez…” Color rushed to your cheeks. “Not helping. I told him we shouldn’t… but we kissed again. In his office.” 

July choked on her coffee and coughed. “WOW. Okay. So now what?” 

“We’re going for coffee after work. **But we shouldn’t**.” 

“Why not?” July questioned in a tone that told you she thought you were out of your mind. “He is hot, he is nice. What could go wrong?”

Everything, you thought helplessly. You refused to think of seeing Duo as a good way to keep your cover safe. Your feelings were way too genuine and it fell like you would be lying to yourself. As well as him. And as July had just pointed out, he was a nice guy. What if you ended up hurting him?

“-Y/N-, stop thinking,” July said sternly. “Just go for it. You deserve a nice guy.”

“Oh…Juul.” You sighed. “I guess…”

“Look, I’ve known you for over two years. You never talk about seeing a guy or whatever. You deserve to have that.” July rested a hand on your shoulder.

You reached for her hand and gave it a squeeze. Okay, you would go and have coffee with Duo and see where it would lead you. July was right. You deserved the experience of being with someone genuinely nice. Wasn’t that why you had kissed Duo a few hours ago in the first place? Because you wanted **that**? 

“We should head to the gym,” you said. 

July smiled at you. “Yeah… let’s do that.”

-x-x-x-

“So…” you said as Duo slid down in the corner booth of the café he had taken you to. “How did you end up working for Preventer?”

“I joined because Heero joined.” 

“So you were friends before you became colleagues?” You poured sugar into your cappuccino and didn’t notice him shifting in his seat. 

“We were.” 

“Cool! So where’d you come from?” 

He smirked. “Dark side of the moon.” 

You gaped at him. “Your shitting me right? L2?” 

“Yeah. Wasn’t the best of places to grow up, but I managed.” He sipped his coffee. “What about you?”

“Queens, New York.”

“How’d you end up in the Brussels Academy? The one in New York is top notch.” 

“I know,” you shrugged, not knowing if it would be wise to tell him. And then the words just tumbled out. “The relationship with my parents is strained. I ran as far away from them as possible.” 

“I see. Must have been hard.” 

You shrugged. “It’s not like I’m missing anything.”

“So you came here, all on your own?” 

“I figured it would be a nice adventure. Didn’t disappoint.” You grinned at him. “I was thinking it recently got a lot more interesting.”

He leaned forward and chuckled. “That so?” 

You leaned in as well. “Hmm…”

“And does that, by chance, have anything to do with me?” 

“Maybe…”

He was so close his lips nearly brushed yours. The mischievous glint in his eyes only added to the excitement that spread in your belly. You hoped he would kiss you again. That longing must have been reflected in your eyes because he gave you a beguiling smirk. 

“You shouldn’t be looking at me like that,” he told you.

“Why not?” you managed breathlessly.

“Because it makes me want to do a lot of things.” 

Your eyes drifted shut at the implication and you shivered. You bit down on your bottom lip and had the satisfaction of hearing his breath hitch at the sight. 

“Well then…” you whispered. “Why don’t you do something about it?”

He leaned in for a short, heated kiss. “I was gonna go about this the right way.” 

You laughed and leaned back, taking a sip of your coffee. “Too late late for that.”

“Nah…” He finished his own coffee. “Ready? I’ll walk you home.” 

“Sure.” 

You quickly finished your coffee and got up, noticing he was holding out his hand to you. Your heart skipped a beat and as your gaze met his, it jumped again. You found yourself having to take a deep breath. You reached for his hand and took it. Maybe… Maybe you wouldn’t have to hurt him, you thought hopefully as his callused fingers curled around yours. You knew it was idle hope. But you did hope nonetheless. 

“So, you have plans for Friday?” he asked as you started on your way to your apartment.

“I was planning dinner with the girls, but we can alway reschedule.” 

“Good.” He pulled you closer and let go of your hand in favor of wrapping his arm around your shoulders. “Be ready at seven. I’ll pick you up.” 

Your hand slid around his waist and you found yourself utterly comfortable. “Is that a date?” 

He chuckled. “A date.” 

**\- End part 1 -**


	2. Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me a long time to write this part, mostly because I wanted to get it right. The first version I wrote of this story years ago, wasn’t so well received because I rushed writing it. 
> 
> I hope you will enjoy this part and please let me know what you think of it!
> 
> Disclaimer: I don’t own Gundam Wing, its characters, or you.

**Forgive and Forget  
Part 2**

_Brussels, City Center, AC 201_

You tried to suppress an excited shiver as you followed Duo inside the restaurant. You couldn’t help but wonder what the evening would bring you. The moment you had opened the door, the look in his eyes had become heated, telling you he very much appreciated the black dress and the high heeled pumps. He didn’t look so bad himself, you mused with a slight smile. The black jeans were rather neat this time, combined with a wine red shirt. He had left the top buttons undone, giving a tantalizing glimpse of skin and ink. 

He had brought you flowers, a charming bouquet of roses in a pale pink color. They had smelled heavenly. Almost as heavenly as Duo had smelled as he had leaned in to kiss you. You couldn’t get enough of his scent, and it was branded in your memory since the past few days. It was pretty much impossible to escape Duo Maxwell, now that he had set his sights on you. 

Not that you actually minded. 

You settled at the table of the cozy Italian restaurant, and gave Duo a warm smile. “Nice place.”

“The food is even better,” he told you with a grin. 

A waiter came to bring you the menu and Duo ordered wine, and you leaned back in your seat as the waiter poured a crisp white wine in the glass in front of you. 

“So…” you drawled. “You still haven’t told me how long you’re staying in Brussels.” 

He chuckled and sipped his wine. “Haven’t decided yet.”

“Really?” You sipped your own wine. “Are you always that indecisive?” 

“I’d rather call it going with the flow.” A smirk played around his lips, and the amusement was clear in his eyes. “It depends… on certain circumstances.” 

You leaned in. “What circumstances?” 

He reached out and wound a loose lock of your hair around his finger. “We should order.”

He was being evasive on purpose. Well, that didn’t set you off. You didn’t mind a challenge. You’d get the words out of him eventually, and if asking nicely wouldn’t work you would bully. 

You ordered the lasagna and handed the menu back to the waiter.

“So what did the girls say when you cancelled your plans?” he asked.

“That they’re going out for dinner together and that we could always join them afterwards,” you said. 

“Do you want to?” 

“It depends,” you said. “On certain circumstances.”

He grinned. “Touché.” 

You grinned back. “Two can play that game, Maxwell.”

“I’d better not underestimate you, Babe.”

You laughed and reached for your wine. “You better not, no.”

Dinner was served, and you enjoyed yourself immensely. The food was amazing and Duo’s company even better. You enjoyed yourself so much that you lost track of time, and by the time you had finished your dessert, it was getting late. Too late to join the girls, you thought. And that thought send a wicked thrill through you. Duo insisted on paying, and you walked back to his car with your hand intimately entwined with his. The warm feeling in your belly was not all due to wine. You had been careful not to drink too much because you were curious to see where the evening would lead you. 

The drive back to your apartment was spend with idle conversation. You loved listening to Duo and his stories. His missions ensured that he had seen a lot of the world and the colonies, and his experiences with local cultures and food fascinated you to no end. 

When he pulled into the parking lot in front of your apartment building, you gave him a smile. “Want to come up for a drink?” 

“Sure.” He turned off the engine and got out of the car.

You grinned as you reached for his hand. “Gonna see the view.”

“Right.” He chuckled.

As soon as the elevator doors closed behind you, you leaned in to steal a kiss. “Thanks for dinner,” you told him with a warm smile. “I really enjoyed myself.”

He slipped his arms around your shoulders and led you out of the elevator. “You’re welcome, Babe.” 

Inside your apartment, you went to get him a beer and yourself another glass of wine. Duo made his way over to the window to admire the view that your apartment provided. 

“You’re right,” he said when you handed him his drink. “The view is great.” 

“Hmm…” You rested your head against his shoulder and watched the city spread around you. “I love the way it looks at night. The lights are so beautiful.”

“A bit of a dreamer?” he questioned with a teasing lilt to his voice.

“The world needs dreamers,” you said dryly. 

But you couldn’t consider yourself to be one. Dreamers were full of hope, positivity, longing. The only thing you lived for was your revenge. Somehow that seemed so bleak, without prospects, because being around Duo made you feel so alive. Hopeful. Alright, maybe a bit of a dreamer.

“I can imagine you here, staring at the city at night,” he said with a grin. “But I can’t help but wonder what you’d be thinking about.” 

You chuckled and sipped your wine, moving around him in a leisured pace. “Life… the world. Maybe… about you?” 

He turned around. “Maybe?” 

“Fishing for compliments?” you asked. 

He grinned and moved in on you. “Me? Never.” 

You put your wine down on the coffee table and circled around, purposefully avoiding him. The look in his eyes turned dark, heated, and you felt very much like a prey as he followed you, putting his beer bottle down on the coffee table as well. He caught up with you and slipped his arms around your waist, pulling your back against his chest. His mouth was warm against your skin as he lowered it to your neck. 

A sigh escaped you as you sagged against him, enjoying the feeling of hard muscles against your back. You turned around in his embrace, and he immediately leaned in to claim your mouth in a hungry kiss. You had to wrap your arms around his neck when the kiss deepened, because your knees buckled and you were left relying on him to keep you up. His fingers buried in your hair and then he was moving, turning you towards the couch. The tumble down was graceless, but you couldn’t care less as his weight pressed you into the cushions. Your back arched and you moaned as your breasts pressed into his chest. Your mind swam with colors, vivid behind your closed eyelids as liquid heat spread through your veins. Your heart was beating wildly in your chest, and as you pressed your hands against his chest, you found his heartbeat matching your own. 

Your fingers found the buttons of his shirt. His breath hitched when you started undoing them and he pulled back from the kiss to look at you.

“Babe…” 

You gave him a coy smile and continued loosening his shirt. “Yes?” 

“You sure you wanna do this?”

You parted his shirt and the cocky comment you had prepared to give him died in your throat. You swallowed thickly as the sight of all those hard planes and muscles that you had revealed. Scars littered his body, but that only added to his beauty. The tattoo took up all your attention for a moment. It was much larger than you had anticipated, spanning his entire chest and the details were stunning. The roses were gorgeous, the skulls a macabre sight flanking the cross. You reached out and traced the contour of the cross with your fingers. His skin was warm, beckoning you to explore with not just your fingers. 

You were quick to hook your legs around his knees and rolled him onto his back, ending up straddling him. You had to bite your lip to contain your moan as you felt his erection press against you through layers of clothing. _Finally…_ you thought as you lowered your mouth to his again. Nothing would stop you this time. His hands were tangled in your hair, keeping you close as he ravished your mouth. God, you could kiss him forever. Not even Chris had been able to make you feel so much by just kissing you. It was insane. And so good.

Your hands slid over warm skin, exploring eagerly. The ridges between his abs were intriguing, but even more so that well developed V-line that disappeared under his jeans. You broke away from his mouth with a gasp and pressed your mouth against his ear.

“I want to taste you,” you whispered longingly before biting down on his earlobe.

A violent shiver racked his body. You grinned against his neck and started kissing your way down, your mouth lazily following the path that your fingers had taken. You enjoyed the feeling of his skin beneath your mouth, the taste of him, but mostly the way he reacted. His grip on your hair tightened when you scraped your teeth over a nipple and he groaned deep in his throat. You glanced up at him through your lashes and were greeted with the sight of his strong jaw, as he lay with his head thrown back. His breathing deepened in anticipation as you nibbled on his abs and he was downright panting by the time you reached that tantalizing V-line and traced one side of it with your tongue. His hips were shifting restlessly beneath you. It was intoxicating to realize you had this effect on him, to know he reacted just as strongly to you as you did to him. Fireworks indeed.

You reached for the fly of his jeans, undoing the button and sliding down the zipper. You saw him bite down on his bottom lip, one of his hands leaving your hair, so he could throw his arm over his eyes. His cheeks were flushed with arousal and he was trembling. It only increased when you freed his erection from his underwear and leaned in to take him into your mouth.

He groaned and squirmed, trying to keep his hips still as you moved over him, taking in as much of him as you could while your fingers wrapped around the base. The heady, absolute power you experienced having him at your mercy like this was addicting. The past few days he had been the seducer, cornering you whenever he could for a kiss and it had driven you absolutely mad. But now, this time, you were in control and you couldn’t get enough of it. Couldn’t get enough of him, really. 

Your name left his lips on a breathless whisper, and it sounded so damn intimate it made you tremble to your bones and send your own need sky rocketing. You grabbed his hips, encouraging him to start trusting into your mouth. 

“Jesus…” The hand still lodged in your hair tightened and his back arched, making muscles ripple under his skin. “Babe… I…” 

You relaxed your throat and took him in deep, noticing how that action made his abs clench. He hissed out a curse, his chest heaving with his labored breathing. He had to be close after your merciless teasing. You glanced up at him and found him looking at you. Your gazes clashed and held and you shivered at the dark, lustful look on his face. God, what a sight he made. And then he collapsed back on the couch, a groan escaping him as his whole body went rigid. You couldn’t stop the quiet moan that escaped you as the sticky heat of his release filled your mouth. You swallowed all he had to offer, greedily taking what you wanted from him. You released him and pressed a gentle kiss against the crown of his manhood, before kissing your way up his body. 

He pulled you up and pressed his mouth against yours, and shivered as he tasted his own passion on your tongue. The kiss swept you under and before you knew it you found yourself lodged between his body and the couch with his hand between your legs. And you discovered there was something better than being kissed by him. Your cries were muffled by his mouth as he continued devouring you, while his fingers pushed your panties aside. You really had to break away from the kiss for some air when his callused fingers rubbed over your wet folds and senselessly moaned against his neck. 

Sensations exploded and you couldn’t do anything but clutch at his biceps. He took your mouth in another deep, scorching kiss and slid his fingers inside of you. Your body felt like it could burst any moment, come apart and leave you utterly ruined. And you wouldn’t mind one bit. You moved your hips against his hand, eagerly seeking what you needed from him. You soared as he rubbed his thump over your clit, your back arching as he send you flying. You cried out as wave after wave crashed down on you. It was so intense that you nearly blacked out from it.

You were left nestled against his side, dozing contently against his shoulder. His arm was securely wrapped around you, his nose buried in your hair. A lazy smile formed on your face when he kissed your forehead. 

“Okay?” he asked you.

“Hmm…” You burrowed deeper into his embrace and sighed. “Oh yes.” 

You felt him smile against your forehead and opened your eyes to look at him. The look in his eyes was intimate and warm, and you felt incredibly special that it was directed at you. He tucked a lock of your hair behind your ear and leaned in for a tender kiss. It was a world away from the way he had kissed you before, but no less pleasing.

“I could kiss you forever and it wouldn’t be enough,” you murmured against his lips.

“That so?” he questioned teasingly.

“Yeah…” you sighed. “Kiss me again, Duo.” 

He complied with a chuckle and pressed his lips against yours again. You sighed with contentment and settled against his side again when he pulled back. Your fingers drew absentminded circles on his abdomen, enjoying the smoothness of his skin under your fingertips. 

But when he spoke again, your mood dropped.

“Who’s that?” he asked, and you instantly knew he was referring to the picture in the build in cabinet that lined the wall on the other side of the living room.

You sighed and burrowed deeper into his shoulder. “My brother.” 

“Oh.” As if sensing that the subject made you uncomfortable, he tightened his grip on you.

“He’s dead,” you murmured.

“I’m sorry to hear that.” His tone was sincere and that made you compelled to talk.

You propped your weight up on your elbows and gazed at the picture. Your brother looked proud. Proud to wear the uniform and proud of what it stood for. He’d been young, only eighteen years old when he died. 

“He was my hero,” you said softly. “My parents… they always made it clear that I should have been a boy. Mike was their pride, but he always was nice to me. In a way he protected me.”

“The relationship with your parents became strained after he died?” 

You shook your head. “No, before that. I lost Mike to OZ before he lost his life.” 

Duo reached up to cup your cheek, and you gave him a small, albeit sad smile. 

“OZ changed him, and by that I mean for the worse.” You sighed. “He became aggressive and full of himself and I barely recognized him when he came home during the weekends. He no longer seemed to care about me.” 

“OZ was shit,” Duo said quietly. His tone was dark, and his eyes even more so. 

It made you wonder if he had had bad experiences with OZ too. The war had touched everyone and L2 had not been one of the best places to live before and during that time. Somehow, the thought that Duo knew what you were talking about made you feel at ease. He understood. 

“Yeah…” you agreed quietly. “After Mike died… my parents were unbearable. So that’s why I came to Brussels.”

“I’m sorry,” he murmured and kissed the top of your head. “You shouldn’t have gone through all of that.” 

You gave a shrug, hoping to come off as careless about your situation. “There are people that have gone through worse.”

“Yeah…” he agreed quietly. “But that doesn’t mean that what happened to you was nothing.” 

You gave him a small, but grateful smile. “That’s a nice thing to say.” 

The smile he gave you in return was no more than a turn of the lips, but it warmed his eyes and seemed so much more special than the grin he always sported. 

“The things that happen to us make us stronger,” you murmured. “I’ve build a life here and I enjoy it.” 

“You should be proud of that.”

“Hmm… Are you proud of what you have made of your life?” you asked.

“Good question,” he mused, while tightening his grip on you. “I guess… I’m making a difference, am I not?” 

“Hmm…” You pressed a kiss against the center of his chest. “We all try to make a difference.” 

He hummed in agreement. “And we have to. The peace is still fragile.” 

“Is it?” you asked, while curiously gazing up at him. 

“Without Preventer’s effort, there would be conflicts all the time,” he said and his tone turned grim. “We methodically eradicate all threats to peace, but it has to be done carefully. We don’t want the general public to panic.” 

You frowned as the information registered. Conflicts all the time? The idea settled like a stone in your stomach. The information was completely new to you… You knew Preventer worked hard to maintain the peace, but you had never known that it was as bad as Duo made it sound. You saw no reason to doubt his words. Duo was a Special Agent. He was out undercover most of the time and got to see and be part of the worst situations. He knew what he was talking about. And it contradicted everything that Chris had always told you: that Preventer didn’t have their hands full and that there were very few conflicts. 

“I didn’t know it was that bad,” you said softly.

Duo ran a hand over your hair and chuckled. “It’s not information that’s up for grabs.”

You rested your head against his chest and listened to the steady beat of his heart as you let the information sink in. When Chris had send you out to infiltrate Preventer, he had told you to gather all the information you could find on it’s employees and businesses it hid from the public. The status of conflicts was of no interest to Chris, but it was of interest to you. When Mike had died, all you had wished for was for all the fighting to stop, so you could have at least a little hope for a better future. But what would happen if you exposed the information that Chris wanted and it would lead to another war?

“Babe, are you okay?” 

“Yeah…” you said softly while tightening your hold on him. “Yeah, I am. Just a little shocked, that’s all.” 

“Don’t worry about it, okay?” he pressed a kiss against your hair. “We’re all hard at work to keep the situation stable, and as long as we do that we should be fine.” 

You nodded. “Right.” 

“So… what plans have you got for tomorrow?” 

“Nothing yet,” you said, while smiling up at him in gratitude for the change of subject.

“Cool. Come on over to my place for dinner.” 

“Sure.” You gave him a cheeky smile. “You’re gonna cook for me?” 

He tugged you closer and kissed you. “Hmm… maybe. I should get going.” 

You pouted but allowed him to slide out from under you and watched as he straightened his clothes. You got up as well and followed him to the front door, where he made a grab for you and pulled you in for a last, lingering kiss. 

“Dream of me tonight,” he murmured in your ear before pulling back. 

The heated look was back in his eyes and made a new rush of heat settle in your belly. It was a promise, you realized. You reached up and traced the shape of his lips with your fingers.

“Only if you dream about me too,” you said softly. 

He caught the tip of your finger between his teeth, and you shivered at the intimacy of the gesture. A slow, sultry smile came to play over your lips.

“You should really go,” you told him. _Or else I won’t let you._

He stepped back, the cocky grin on his face. “See ya, Babe.”

“Yeah…” you murmured as you watched him go.

Your apartment felt empty without him.

-x-x-x-

You were a nervous wreck by the time you had to get ready to go to Duo’s place on Saturday. You had been on edge all day, mulling over the information that Duo had revealed to you, wondering if you should confront Chris with it. It would be of no use, you had concluded at some point. You’d have to find solid, hard proof of the things Duo had told you, or none would believe you.

So you took a long, relaxing soak in your bathtub, pampered yourself and had just slipped into your robe when the doorbell rang. You hurried to the front door and found Dina and July waiting outside.

“What are you doing here?” you questioned.

“Well…” July started with a saucy grin as she brushed passed you. “If you’re gonna sex up Duo Maxwell, I gotta make sure you look ready to do it.” 

You blushed madly and glared at her. “I’m not sexing him up.” 

“Then he’ll sex you up,” Dina supplied as she stepped inside as well and shut the door behind her. “What will you be wearing?” 

They dragged you to your bedroom and made you sit down on the bed. July made her way to your closet and shamelessly dug around in your underwear drawer. 

“You’ll wear this,” she told you as she threw a set of lacy red lingerie in your direction. 

You buried your face in your hands and groaned. “Oh no...” 

“Why not?” Dina argued. “I’m sure he’ll like it.” 

“Like it?” July grinned wickedly. “He’ll love it.” 

“Ugh…” You fell back on the bed and kept your hands over your face as you squirmed to keep your laughter under control. 

“What’s wrong with her?” you heard Dina ask.

The next moment the mattress dipped as July settled on the bed beside you. “Need to tell us something?”

You lifted your hands from your face and grinned at her. “Third base.” 

“WHAT?!?” they exploded in unison.

You shook with laughter as your saw their stupefied expressions. By the time you had your breathing under control, both July and Dina were gazing at you expectantly. 

“Well,” Dina said slyly. “Out with it.” 

So you told them everything, and where well aware of the fact that your cheeks heated with the memories, but glad for the distraction. Your mind was no longer occupied by Duo’s revelations of the night before. July was grinning widely by the time you finished and cuddled up against you.

“I’m so proud of you,” she said warmly. “You’re finally dating!” 

“I wouldn’t call it dating yet,” you murmured.

“But it’s a start, right?” 

“Yeah.” You smiled.

“Well then, let’s get you ready.” 

You let them pick your outfit and dressed, and then Dina went to work on your make-up. July busied herself by picking a good bottle of wine from your kitchen and whistled when she came back and saw you. 

“Yeah… definitely gonna sex him up,” she said wickedly. “Off you go.”

You chuckled and grabbed your purse, and took the bottle of wine from her. “Yes, Mama.” 

She batted her lashes at you. “Don’t I know it. Now, tomorrow you’ll let us know all the details.” 

“Yes,” Dina chimed in. “All of them.” 

You blushed as you ushered them out of your apartment. “We’ll see about that.” 

Laughing like hyenas, you made your way downstairs. You hugged them before starting on your way to Duo’s place. He had texted you the address earlier and it was indeed, not too far from your apartment. You enjoyed the fine September weather as you crossed the park and focussed on the warm sun rays that played over your face. It was just a way to keep your mind away from the evening’s possibilities. A distraction to keep the anticipation under control. 

You found the condo with the adjoining garage, just as Duo had described it. His truck was parked alongside a vintage sports car. The front garden was no more than an neatly mowed patch of lawn, but that suited him. For the life of you, you couldn’t imagine Duo busying himself with plants and flowers. You walked up to the front door and rang the bell, a smile spreading on your face when, after a little while, you heard the door being unlocked.

A strong hand grabbed your wrist and yanked you inside, against a hard body, and then his mouth was on yours. You nearly dropped the bottle of wine as you mindlessly surrendered to him. 

He drew back with a chuckle. “Hi.” 

“Hi,” you said and grinned at him. 

He noticed the bottle in your hand and reached out to take it. “What did you bring me?” 

You didn’t comment and let him study the bottle. He whistled through his teeth. “Nice.”

“Hmm…” 

He took your hand and pulled you with him into the living room. “Come on in.” 

The living room was a cozy place, cluttered with magazines and pictures of him and his friends. He left you to fix you both a glass of wine, and you curiously wandered over to the collection of picture frames on the wall. There were pictures of him and Heero, his group of friends, him and an old man in a floral shirt and him and a girl with short black hair. In those pictures he looked a lot younger, the backdrop op a colony telling you they had been taken some time ago. 

“I was a really scrawny kid,” he told you jokingly as he came to bring you your glass. “Wasn’t until I came back to Earth and Sally put me on a diet that I started growing.” 

“Sally?” you questioned as you gazed at the pictures again. Yeah… he had filled out nicely, you concluded. Damn fine was a more appropriate term actually. 

He nodded. “I didn’t grow up in the best of conditions, so I had to make up for the early years of malnutrition.” 

“I wouldn’t say…” you said with a teasing smile. You pointed to one of the pictures of him and Heero. It seemed fairly recent, and both of them were in hiking gear. “I like that one.” 

“We went to Switzerland last year. The hikes were pretty amazing.” 

“I can imagine,” you said wistfully. You had never gone on vacation before and it had to be wonderful to share such an experience with a friend. 

He reached for your hand again. “Come on outside. I’ve got the chicken almost ready.” 

You noticed the stacks of folders on the dining table as you passed it and he chuckled when he caught your curious look. “Just old case files. I’ve been going over them to find a connection to my current case.” 

“Through that many?” you questioned. 

He gave a shrug. “Seems this organization has wide connections. I want to make sure I don’t miss anything.” 

“Hmm…” You stepped outside and drew to a halt. “Wow… Duo, this is really nice.” 

He chuckled. “I know right?” 

The back door gave way to a sprawling terrace with a lounge set and dining table. The table had already been set, and the scent of the chicken cooking on the barbecue made your stomach rumble. The back yard did have plants, you noticed with a smile. Potted palm trees graced the terrace with their Mediterranean presence, and the wall that marked the end of the property was lined with hydranchcaes still struggling to maintain their color this late into the year. The terrace was separated from the blooms by a decent sized patch of lawn.

He noticed your look and grinned. “Those were already there when I bought this place.” 

“They’re gorgeous.” 

He checked on the chicken and decided it wasn’t ready yet. While you waited, he invited you to sit at the table.

“Your place is great,” you said. “I imagine you have a lot of friends over whenever you have the chance.” 

“Yeah…” he said. “Whenever we are on the same continent. Or Earth for that matter.”

“Oh?” you questioned.

“Trowa works for a circus and Quatre pretty much runs L4. So yeah…”

“Are you talking about Quatre Raberba Winner?” The disbelief was evident in your voice.

“The one and only.” 

You sat staring at him in stunned silence. When you had finally regained your wits, you chuckled. “You continue to amaze me.” 

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” he said with a wink.

He got up and collected the chicken from the barbecue. During dinner the conversation continued to flow, and you felt so at ease you lost track of how much you drank or how much time had passed. Before you knew it, the both of you had finished the bottle. 

“I was just thinking…” he said suddenly. 

“Hmm?” You gave him a questioning look over the rim of your glass.

“They say the weather is gonna be pretty nice next weekend too. Why don’t you and the girls come over? I’ll invite Heero and Wufei, maybe some other friends too.” 

“Sounds like fun.” 

And… kind of serious, you realized. If he was going to invite his friends, did that mean he wanted them to know the two of you were seeing each other? The idea made you blush and a smile came to play over his face when he noticed. He leaned in over the table and reached out to touch your cheek.

“Why are you blushing?” he asked.

“I was just thinking…” you said softly. “What everyone will say?” 

“Are you concerned?”

“Not really.” You shrugged. “But it does seem to make things more official.” 

“Well…” He closed the distance between the two of you and brushed his lips over yours. “I did say I was gonna go about this the right way.” 

Warmth exploded in your chest at those words, and a slow smile spread on your face. “Yeah… You did.” 

He took your hand and got up, and the gentle tug on your hand had you rising from your seat as well. You were mesmerized by the look in his eyes, the simple hunger that was evident in the violet depts. None had ever looked at you like that before and it was incredibly exciting and arousing. 

You followed him into the house and as soon as the backdoor fell shut behind you, he was on you, his hands in your hair and his mouth -oh so expertly- ravishing yours. You had just about enough ability to think left and clamped your arms around his neck, or you might have melted into a puddle at his feet. Kissing him was like a drug and you were helpless against the addiction.

His hands shifted from your hair and trailed down your back, and you shivered as your nerve endings were set on fire. For a moment July’s words flitted through your mind. _Imagine what would happen if you ended up in bed with him._ You were about to find out. And then you lost all ability to think at all when his hands settled on your ass and pressed you against him. The bulge in his jeans was unmistakable proof of his desire for you. You were barely aware that he lifted you up and only regained a minimal amount of sense when he tore his mouth away from yours. You buried your face against his neck as he carried you through the living room and into the hallway. You had no time to look around when he entered his bedroom, too caught up in his scent and the taste of his skin. He tumbled onto the bed with you, his weight pressing you into the mattress. You heard his sneakers hit the floor and were quick to kick off your own shoes as well.

Your heart was beating a mile a minute and your breathing was out of control and that only got worse when he slanted his mouth over yours again. You ran your hands over his back, and grabbed hold of the fabric of his black shirt. He laughed under his breath when he broke the kiss to pull the shirt over his head. He towered over you with that gorgeous body, demanding your absolute focus and it did nothing to ease your breathing. You reached out and trailed your fingers over his chest and made muscles jump at your touch. His breath hitched when your fingers teasingly slid down his stomach and hooked in the waistband of his jeans. 

You pulled him towards you, forcing him to plant his hands against the mattress beside your head. You arched up and teasingly caught his earlobe between your teeth. 

“I dreamed of you last night,” you whispered. “Of this. Did you?” 

He groaned and shifted so his hands were free to undress you. When the silk blouse fell open, he sat back to admire the red lace body. 

“Jesus, Babe… are you trying to kill me?” he questioned in a low, husky tone.

You smiled at him and reached down to undo your jeans. “That would be a waste, now would it?” 

He chuckled and grabbed hold of your jeans, helping you pull them off. Callused fingers trailed over lace and his eyes darkened, if possible, even more. He leaned in and captured a lace covered nipple between his teeth.

“It would almost be a waste to take this off,” he muttered darkly.

Your hands buried themselves in his hair, your back arching as pleasure shot through you. You writhed underneath him, a strangled gasp escaping you. The intensity was almost too much to bear and yet you yearned for more. And it only got worse, so much worse, when his fingers found the fastening of the lace. He started peeling it away from your body and his mouth followed to discover every inch of skin that he exposed. You reached for his fly, eager to undress him, but he was quick to grab your wrists and held them at yours sides.

The mischievous glint in his eyes nearly made you squirm in anticipation. “I think it’s my turn to have some fun, Babe.” 

His sense of fun was pure and utter torture in the best kind of way. His sensual handling of your body left you beside yourself, and you quickly discovered that nothing could ever compare to the way Duo made you feel. And when he finally rose up above you to take off his jeans, you were nothing more than a panting mess. You slipped your hands around his neck when he leaned over you to open the drawer of his nightstand.

You wildly shook your head and arched into him. “No… Duo… I’m on birth control.”

He stilled and gazed at you, the look in his eyes turning serious. “Are you sure?” 

“Yes!” You pulled him closer and pressed your mouth against his ear. “Please.”

His breath hitched. “Babe…”

He grabbed your hips and pulled you toward him and your mouth opened in a silent scream when he slid inside of you. The way he filled you was perfect, and you restlessly shifted your hips in hopes of getting him to move. And when he did, you soared. You rose higher and higher, unable to come down from the place he send you to and not caring about it. Your head was thrown back in wild abandon, a sheen of sweat making your skin glisten, tempting him to lean in and trail his lips over slicked flesh. You cried out when his control slipped and his trusts increased in power, sending wicked shots of sensations through your body. Any moment you could come apart, but you fought to make it last. 

His hands clasped like vices around your hips and dragged you, if possible, even closer to him. It was your undoing, you muscles clamping down on him as pleasure erupted. Your back arched like a bow as ecstasy swamped you. You were barely aware of his animalistic growl as he found his own pleasure.

You dared to open your eyes only when you felt like the room had stopped spinning. You took a deep breath to ease your burning lungs, and another just for the sake of it. Duo had collapsed on top of you, his face buried in the juncture of your neck and shoulder. You turned your head and caught his earlobe between your teeth.

He groaned. “Give me a minute, Babe.” 

You chuckled and slipped your arms around his neck, gently trailing a hand along his braid. He shivered and made a content sound in the back of his throat. 

“You okay?” you asked him when you noticed that he was trembling.

“Yeah… I think you just send me to Mars or something.” He moved, sluggishly rolling off of you and stretched lazily. He rubbed a hand over his face. His cheeks were flushed and his eyes heavy as he turned his gaze to look at you. A small smile formed on his face. “Come here, Babe.”

You moved in, a content sigh escaping you as you lined your body up against his and rested your head on his chest. His arm settled around you and his free hand shifted into your hair. He turned his head to press a tender kiss against your forehead. 

You brought a hand up so you could caress the inked skin your cheek was resting against. “Hmm… I think I joined you on Mars.” 

He chuckled and tightened his grip on you. “You are something.”

“You think?” You cheekily grinned up at him.

“Hmm…” His smile was warm and he pulled you closer for a kiss.

You sighed against his lips. “It really is never going to be enough.” 

“What?” he questioned curiously.

“Kissing you.” You reached up to cup his cheek and pressed your mouth against his again. “I just can’t get enough of you.” 

“Well then…” he murmured teasingly. “Aren’t you lucky right now?” 

You slid your leg over his hips and straddled him. “Hmm… feeling lucky too. Your minute is long up.” 

He laughed and rolled you onto your back again.

-x-x-x-

You looked up from the salad you were tossing when the doorbell rang.

“I’ll get it!” Duo called. 

You heard him rush towards the front door and took a deep breath to steady yourself. After a blissful week the idea of meeting Duo’s friends like this still made you feel a little nervous. Although you were sure that Heero and Wufei knew about it, you couldn’t help but wonder what they thought. Especially Wufei, since he was so strict about Preventer rules. Duo was considerate enough to keep his distance during work, but you were sure others picked up the way he looked at you. Or the way you looked at him. It wasn’t something you could help really. 

You recognized Dina’s and July’s voices in the hallway and sighed in relief. You had told them to be sure to be the first ones to arrive so you would feel more at ease. They came spilling into the kitchen with cheerful greetings and you smiled at them as they dashed forward to hug you. 

“Glad you girls are here,” you told them.

“Well…” July drawled. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” 

You rolled your eyes and went to check the shrimps you had marinated. Duo came walking into the kitchen and gave you a warm smile. You smiled back at him and totally did not notice the looks that Dina and July exchanged. It was the kind of look that clearly said _Oh yeah, they’re so hooked._

“So…” Duo said as he turned his attention to the girls. “What can I get you ladies to drink?” 

The doorbell rang again, but since Duo was busy pouring wine, you were forced to go and answer it. You found Heero waiting on the steps and gave him a somewhat nervous smile. “Hi.”

“Hey.” He stepped into the house and shrugged out of his jacket. “Something smells good here.” 

You blushed and ducked your head. “I’m baking a focaccia.” 

He reached out and rested a hand on your shoulder. “Why are you being weird? I’m not judging.” 

The nerves faded and you gave Heero a grateful smile. “Sorry. I keep thinking about what people at work might say.”

Heero shook his head. “Don’t worry. As long as Duo behaves none is going to say anything.” 

You laughed and mentioned him to follow you into the kitchen. “You think this thing doesn’t go both ways?” 

“That’s too much information,” he deadpanned dryly.

Soon enough, more people came pouring into the house. Wufei arrived first, followed by a tall handsome man who introduced himself as Trowa, and Relena Peacecraft. You wondered how many other important political figures Duo knew as you helped him pass around drinks. He seemed at ease flirting with you in the presence of his friends, and that helped you get rid of any remaining nerves. You felt happy and in charge as you directed everyone outside. Duo prepared the grill and the men gathered around it, while you sat with the other women at the table. 

“So Duo finally managed to score a girl,” Relena said with a kind smile. “I never thought I would see the day.” 

“Ooh, so you’re lucky, -Y/N-,” July teased you.

“Very lucky,” you said with a saucy grin. 

“Oh jeez….” Dina rolled her eyes. “Don’t start.”

“You’re one to talk,” July said with a grin and then lowered her voice so the men wouldn’t hear. “The moment you start talking about Wufei, you can’t stop. And you’re not even dating him.” 

“Wufei?” Relena inquired. She giggled. “Really?”

Dina blushed madly. “It’s just a crush. It’ll pass.” 

“Or it won’t,” you murmured. “Then you’ll have to sex him up.” 

Dina sputtered, while July roared with laughter. After all their teasing from the previous week it felt nice to get a little revenge. 

The evening flowed by, and by the time you had let the final guests out of the door, none of your nerves remained. You walked back into the living room, completely at ease, and found Duo on the couch, chewing on the end of a pen as he poured over one of the many folders that were on his dining table.

“Duo,” you said. “It’s Saturday.” 

“I know,” he murmured absentmindedly as he pulled a notebook closer and scribbled something down on it. “Just this one folder, I promise.” 

You smiled and padded over to him, sliding onto the couch next to him. “That pile of folders is really big. Can I help you go through them in any way?” 

You had been contemplating asking him to let you help out. Guilt had stopped you from asking the question until now. You didn’t want to use Duo as a way to gain information. But what he had told you last week kept running over and over in your head. If, by helping him, you had a chance to find proof of what Duo had told you, you could confront Chris. And if not, you might still find info useful to your mission. But that thought sickened you. It felt like betrayal.

Duo looked up from his folder, his gaze serious. “These folders are full of confidential information.” 

“Probably,” you agreed carefully. “But I see folders containing that kind of information at work all the time, don’t I?” 

“What you get to see is just a fraction of what’s really going on.” His eyes darkened, serious now. “If Une finds out I let you read them, she’ll have my head on a silver platter.” 

You slipped your arms around his neck and rested your head against his shoulder. “Alright. Sorry, I just wanted to help.” 

He pressed his lips against your forehead and sighed. “Okay, you can.”

“What?” you exclaimed. “Just like that?” 

He chuckled. “Well, you are my secretary after all. Just make sure that none finds out about it.” 

You chuckled and let him get up to select a folder for you. You took it from him and opened it. “Alright, so what do I have to look for?” 

“I’m digging up information on an organization called Blue Liberty. You’re holding their file. I think it’s best if you get yourself familiar with them first before digging into any other folders.” 

“Alright,” you said. 

You started reading, curious to find out what you would discover. According to the file Blue Liberty held ties with criminal organizations, spanning the entire Earth Sphere and they supplied these organizations with weapons and bombs. It was a little sickening to read that quite a few incidents of the past few years, which the media had written off as minor, could be linked back to them. Bombings, kidnappings, abolished terrorist attacks. Preventer had been successful in stopping most of the incidents in time, but there were so many it dazzled you. 

There was a long list of organizations that Blue Liberty had ties with. They had been around for years, and even L3’s Barton Foundation was listed among it’s accomplices. This was big. And no wonder that it took Duo so long to go through all the folders. Every detail could matter. 

You flipped to the next page, eyes wide as you devoured the information presented to you. Not only organizations used Blue Liberty as supplier. There were also individuals that gladly used their services. Assassins, corrupt politicians that had long since been arrested, L2 gangsters… the list went on and on. You scanned the names, and felt a cold feeling settle in your stomach when you found a certain and familiar name on the list. You felt yourself go pale with shock, and your heart stuttered. In fear, in confusion. _Christian Raby._

You lowered the file and bit down on your lip, knowing you couldn’t show Duo your distress. It tore you up. You cleared your throat, hoping your voice would sound normal. “I’m gonna grab something to drink. Do you want something?” 

He hummed in affirmation, deeply engrossed in his own folder, and for that you were glad. You got up and walked into the kitchen, leaving your folder on the coffee table.

In the kitchen, you took a few deep breaths, and fought down the panic that was swirling wildly in your stomach. Chris had ties to Blue Liberty and Preventer knew about it. Did that also mean they knew about the organization that you were part of? _Oh God…_ the thought alone sickened you. You had no reason to doubt the information in the folder. But it didn’t mention exactly why Chris had contact with Blue Liberty and if it had been recent. If Chris was on their radar? Did they know about Truth Seeker too? 

You busied yourself pouring drinks, trying in vain to stop your hands from trembling. Calm… you had to keep calm. Truth Seeker wasn’t in the folder. Truth Seeker was no criminal organization. It solely existed to expose the truth and you, as an individual had decided that extra follow up on your part of the mission was necessary. _They don’t know, they don’t know, they don’t know._ You repeated the thought often enough that you started to believe it. You took a deep breath and willfully relaxed your shoulders. There.

You carried the drinks back into the living room and placed them on the coffee table. You leaned in to kiss the top of Duo’s head. He tilted his head to smile at you.

“Thanks for the drink, Babe.” 

You smiled back at him, and settled against his side. “Today was fun.” 

“Yeah…” He tucked your head under his chin. “Did you enjoy yourself?” 

“I did. I was nervous at first, but your friends are really nice.” You nuzzled along his collar bone. “Heero basically told me to relax because he wasn’t going to say anything about us.” 

You could feel him smile against your forehead. “Good. I’m glad they like you.” 

“Hmm…” You reached for your folder again. “Yeah… me too.” 

You spend some more time reading over the folder, but it didn’t mention Chris again. It took you some minor effort to get Duo to put his own folder. You laughed when he swooped you up and carried you to the bedroom, glad for his distraction.

-x-x-x-

It had been a long day at work and you were dead tired after your work out with Heero. The work out had been fun. You were improving with each training. Heero was a good teacher, and sometimes Wufei or Duo would pitch in as well, giving advice of their own. The advice you gratefully accepted. You had a feeling you would need all the knowledge you could gather.

Over the past month, it had become clear to you that Chris was not the man he had claimed to be when you first met him. As you helped Duo with his case during the evenings, you had found more contaminating info on your leader’s dealings. One file had even mentioned Truth Seeker, but it had been written off as a little inconvenience. No criminal dealings there. But you no longer were so sure. You had found details of Chris ordering weapons and explosives. What was he planning?

You stuck the key in the lock to your apartment and went inside, sighing with fatigue as you kicked off your shoes and hung up your jacket. You wouldn’t be seeing Duo that night. He had seen how tired you were, and had basically ordered you to go to bed early. Thinking back on it brought a small smile to your face as you padded into your living room. 

But you were brought up short as you saw who was waiting for you. 

“Jesus!” You snapped. “What’s up with everyone letting themselves into my apartment?” 

Chris gave you a smirk and rose from the couch. “Sorry to scare you. I didn’t mean to.” 

The hairs on the back of your neck rose as you watched him. He approached you and leaned in to kiss your cheek. You accepted it only because you couldn’t let him know yet what you had found out. 

“It’s good to see you again,” he said as his arm slipped around your waist.

You gave him a small smile and stepped back. “I’m seeing someone.” 

“I know. Good way to keep your cover.”

You shook your head. “I don’t use him as a cover.” 

Chris’ dark eyes narrowed. “So it’s serious?” 

You shrugged. “Yes.”

“And what about your mission?” 

“Still going as planned,” you countered smoothly, while moving around him to your bedroom. You went to retrieve the USB drive from its secret hiding place. You had added some info to it in the past few weeks, little bits and pieces that might seem useful to Chris but really weren’t. You weren’t planning on giving Truth Seeker any intel until you had figured out Chris’ true motives. 

“Thanks,” he said as he took the USB drive from you. “Found anything useful?” 

“I hope,” you said. “If I’m lucky I might be granted access to some of the databases soon.”

You saw the change in Chris’ eyes, the gleeful look that entered the dark brown gaze. Once you had been captivated by these eyes, by his deep voice and jet black curls. Chris had charm and charisma, and had recruited many members of Truth Seeker by using these skills at rallies and demonstrations. And you, then nothing more than an angry teen with a grudge against your brother’s killer had immediately been taken with him. And you had felt so special when he had taken a liking to you. 

“That’s excellent news,” Chris said.

“I’m not sure if I can get into the records we need yet, but maybe I can send Lionel some links so he can try and hack into it.” 

“Be very careful with doing that,” he told you. “If we’re found out we can forget it.” 

“I know.” You tried a small smile and that seemed to settle him. “I know what I’m doing.” 

“I never doubted you.” He rested a hand on your shoulder for a moment. “Ivy no longer bothers you, does she?” 

You shook your head. “No. Thanks for getting her out of my hair.” 

“Don’t mention it. She could have screwed up the mission.” He sighed. “She is impatient.” 

You chuckled. “Aren’t we all.” 

Chris held up the USB drive. “I’ll take a look at this. Let me know when you find something more.” 

“Will do.” 

He left the apartment and you sank down heavily on the couch. You sighed deeply and leaned your head back against the backrest. What had he been thinking, breaking into your apartment like that? If Duo had been with you… God, you didn’t want to think about that.

The idea alone devastated you. You rubbed a hand over your forehead. If Duo found out about your mission… would he understand your need for justice? But that gave rise to an even darker thought. What if your idea of justice disturbed the peace that Duo worked so hard for? Feeling sick to your stomach, you rose from your seat and paced through the living room. 

You felt at loss… Everything you had always believed in… had it all been lies? Your foundation was shaken to the core, leaving you floundering. Gasping, you stumbled into your bedroom and quickly packed your overnight bag. You were out of the door in mere minutes. 

Duo looked surprised when he opened the door and found you on his doorstep. You dashed forward and wrapped your arms around his waist, burying your face in his chest.

“Sorry… I just…” You had to take a deep breath. “I needed you.” 

He kissed the top of your head and ushered you inside. “It’s okay, Babe.” 

You felt so much gratitude. He seemed to understand perfectly that you weren’t ready to talk, but he was simply there for you, leading you to his bedroom.

“Go lie down until dinner, okay?” he told you. “You look like you’re about to keel over.” 

“Kinda feeling that way,” you murmured. 

You stripped down to your underwear and stole a shirt from his closet, before crawling under the comforter. Duo came to sit on the edge of the bed and gently pushed your hair back. 

“Will you tell me what’s bothering you?” he asked.

_I can’t…_

“Just having a shitty afternoon,” you said. It wasn’t exactly a lie, but it tasted like acid on your tongue. 

“Why?” he pressed as he leaned in to kiss your cheek.

He was being so kind, and you couldn’t ever tell him about this. It broke your heart that you were keeping secrets from him. You could never share this burden with him. The past few weeks you had buried your mission to the back of your mind, allowing Duo to occupy most of your thoughts but the confrontation with Chris made you unable to hide from it any longer. Duo would hate you if he ever found out what your true intentions had been when you had signed up for the Preventer academy. He would think you a traitor. 

And with a sinking feeling you realized that you were. 

Duo, Heero, Wufei, July, and Dina… you would all lose them if it ever got out. 

“The past few months were the greatest of my life,” you said softly. “I’m scared of losing it.” 

Duo gave you a reassuring smile. “I’m not going anywhere, Babe.” 

You reached for his hand and entwined your fingers with his. “Even if you were to find out something about me that you’d hate?” 

His eyes darkened and the smile left his face. “Well… we all have things we’re not proud of.” 

You frowned at his haunted tone. You reached out to cup his cheek, but he was already slipping back to his cheerful self. What had he been talking about? 

“You should get some sleep.” 

“Yeah…” You gave him a small smile and tugged him down for a kiss. “Thanks Duo.” 

“Any time.” 

He got up and left the room, turning off the light as he went. You sat up to watch him go, saw how he gave you a warm look over his shoulder before he closed the door behind him.

“I love you,” you whispered.

You hadn’t dared to tell him out loud yet. Your feelings for him were so powerful it often overwhelmed you. Loving him hadn’t come as a surprise, but the intensity of it had. You had fancied yourself in love with Chris, and during your affair with him, had often thought you loved him as well. But all of that… it was nothing compared to what Duo made you feel. It wasn’t just the stunning physical attraction or his good looks. It was also the warmth and kindness, his quirky sense of humor, the way he interacted with people. And the hint of something dark, that he was careful to keep hidden from others. But sometimes it would catch up with him, leaving him staring off into space, a haunted look in his eyes. You wanted to reach for him then, wrap him up in your embrace and comfort him, like the way he had just comforted you. There were many layers to him and although you hadn’t uncovered all of them yet, you found yourself loving what you had already discovered.

It made you all the more terrified of losing him. 

You lay down and curled up under the comforter, willing yourself to relax. You would need more time. More time to find out what Chris was up to and to figure out whose side you truly wanted to be on. If you chose Truth Seeker, you would surely lose Duo and your friends. If you chose Preventer’s side, Mike’s killer would never be brought to justice. 

You squeezed your eyes shut. _What would you want me to do, Mike?_

But Mike wasn’t going to answer you. He had abandoned you, even before you had lost him. Shouldn’t you let go of the past and focus on your future? You sighed deeply. You hoped, desperately hoped, that Duo would be part of that future. With your mind still restless, your stomach still churning with nerves and fear, you drifted off into a dream filled sleep. 

-x-x-x-

Duo woke you some time before dinner and you had trouble opening your heavy eyes. He was quick to lift you out of bed and carried you into the living room, where he had soup waiting for you. You cuddled up against him on the couch with the bowl in your hands.

“Sorry…” you murmured again. “And thank you.”

“For what?” he asked. 

You tilted your head back to give him a small smile. Sleep had helped and you felt much calmer now. “For allowing me to stay here.”

He touched a finger to you cheek, traced the curve of your jaw. “Did you think I would send you away? You were obviously not feeling well.” 

“Hmm…” You spooned up the last of your soup. “But I don’t want you to think that I’m imposing or anything.” 

He chuckled and leaned in to nuzzle your hair. “Of course not. Besides… I like taking care of you.”

You felt heat wash over your cheeks. “You do?” 

He took the empty bowl from you and put it down on the coffee table. “Babe, I think it’s time we had a talk.” 

For a moment you felt like a lump of ice had formed in your stomach, but the warm look in his eyes quickly eased that. 

“You can trust me, okay?” he said, while cupping your cheeks. “If you ever feel like shit or whatever, I’ll take care of you. I won’t judge.” 

You couldn’t only nod because you didn’t trust your voice. 

“If you want to talk about it, I’ll listen,” he offered.

You bit your lip. “I don’t think I’m ready yet.” 

“Alright.” His smile was easy, and that settled you. “Take your time. But I’m here for you okay?” 

You slipped your arms around his waist and buried your face into his chest. “You’re so wonderful.” 

His arms wrapped around you, warm and safe, and you felt protected from all your insecurities and doubts. Just a bit more time, you thought. A little bit more.

“I have to go out soon,” he murmured in your hair. “Will you be okay on your own?” 

“Right. Movie night at Heero’s. Yeah…” you smiled at him. “I’ve got a book with me, so I’ll be fine.” 

“Good.” He leaned in and kissed you.

You drowned almost instantly. The warm touch of his lips was all you needed. On a sigh you slid closer to him, pressing up against that strength that grounded you in the here and now. The pain of the past and the uncertainties of the future couldn’t reach you as long as you kissed him. 

He tore away from the kiss with a gasp, breathy laughter escaping him. “I can’t afford to be late,” he said.

You smiled at him, the tilt of your lips sultry. “Well… I can wait up.” 

“I’ll hurry home,” he promised huskily. 

You pressed another kiss against his lips before scooting back so he could get up. 

“See you later,” he said.

You nodded and watched him go. “See you.” 

With the house quiet and empty, you settled comfortably on the couch with your book. It was kind of… domestic, sitting like this, waiting for Duo to come back. You read for a hour, then put the book away to wash the soup bowl in the kitchen. Upon your return, you eyed the stack of folders on the dining table. It looked like more had been added to the pile. 

You bit your lip, contemplating what to do. Up until now, you had only helped Duo with his research with him present. Would he mind? 

You hesitated, but the urge was too strong to resist. You sat down at the table, took a folder from the pile and opened it. You pulled Duo’s notebook towards you, and read over the notes he had taken. By now you were used to what Wufei would call Duo’s ‘unreadable scrawl’. It had taken you some time in the beginning to decipher it, but by now you were a pro in your lover’s handwriting. 

You started working through the folder, nothing anything down what might be interesting and adding sticky notes to the pages for him to check later. It was a system you had come up with, allowing him to go back and check on what you thought might be of use for his case. 

This folder contained information about supplies that Blue Liberty had sold to it’s customers. You read through the list and swallowed thickly when you found Chris’s name. With trembling hands, you dug out your phone and snapped a picture. There was your proof and you weren’t sure if you were relieved or angry. So far you had only found mentionings of Chris’ dealings with Blue Liberty and him ordering explosives and weapons, but no actual details of what exactly. He had ordered guns. And if you were to believe the list, enough of them for him to supply a small army. Automatic weapons too, a dozen bazooka’s, ammunition, explosives and other supplies to make bombs… 

Chris was planning an attack. But when, and above all, why? He had always told you Truth Seeker had no business fighting dirty. Had that been a lie? Had you been so naive to blindly trust him? But you had, you realized with a wave of bitterness. He had been nice to you, and you had been starving for affection and he had deliberately seduced you. You had been dazzled, an easy pawn for him to knead. And here you were now.

You shot up, planting both hands on the cool surface of the table and breathed in deeply to keep calm. Rage simmered. The motherfucker had used you. And if you hadn’t met Duo, if you hadn’t helped him with his case, you would have never known. Truth Seeker was just his cover.

An attack… how many people was he planning to kill? The idea was so sickening it made a cold sweat break out on your skin. You pressed clammy hands over your face. You wouldn’t be any part of this. Couldn’t be. This was not the reason why you had joined Truth Seeker. God damn it all. A bark of bitter laughter escaped you as you sat back down and picked up the pen again. 

You had your proof. Now you would just stop contacting Chris. You weren’t going to give him any more information. 

Much calmer now, you continued on where you had left off. On an impulse you added your findings on Truth Seeker to your notes, as the transaction had been recent and big enough to deserve Preventer’s attention. You would no longer be part of it, but you would try to stop them from whatever they were planning.

You sighed when your pen stopped working and got up to find yourself another. You opened drawers on the cabinet and nearly cursed your lover for his lack of pens. Shouldn’t a house hold at least a dozen of these things? You yanked open another drawer and chuckled when you found pens stashed in there. Jackpot. 

You took one out and froze when you noticed the picture frames underneath them. Curiously, you reached for one. It was a simple black, wooden frame that held a picture of Duo and his friends. But you felt your blood run cold when you realized what you were actually seeing. _No._ Your heart thudded painfully in your chest and your blood rushed in your ears. You felt light headed and nauseous. _Oh God no…_

Duo, a much younger Duo, grinned at you from the picture. The shot had been taken in space, all of them in flight suits… Heero, Duo, Wufei, Trowa, and… Quatre Winner. The five of them and in the background… _Please, no._ Denial was strong, but you couldn’t ignore the shape of the mobile suits in the background. The feared suits that had taken the Earth by storm six years ago. _Gundams…_

Your breath wheezed out in a wretched sob. Denial, and then betrayal. _Which one had been Duo’s?_ You reached for the second picture frame and _knew_. And that made it all the worse. The machine’s sinister appearance was ingrained in your memory, you having studied it again and again… Gundam 02. 

You felt your heart break into a thousand tiny little pieces. Tears blurred your vision as you staggered back, breathing heavily with panic. 

Confronted with the information you had been looking for, but unwilling to accept it. _This couldn’t be._ But it was there, and your foundation had been shaken to the core. Again. Duo… wonderful Duo… or coldblooded killer? You didn’t want to believe it. Your heart didn’t want to believe he could be just that. But the evidence was here… right in your hands.

_Killer. The one you were looking for. Mike’s killer…_

The tears streamed down your cheeks. Unable to look at the pictures anymore, you put them back in the drawer, buried them under the pens, and raced to the back door. The fresh air was cold on your wet cheeks as you collapsed on a chair. You wanted to weep uncontrollably, but you were too stunned by your discovery to do so.

You had found the information you had been after but now that you knew, you wished you hadn’t. 

“Oh God…” you sobbed. 

How could you ever get past this? You loved Duo… But could you love him now? Now, that you knew who, _what_ , he really was? Had been? 

You directed a look up at the sky, found the clouds obscuring the moon and the stars. You had been thirteen years old when the news of your brother’s death had reached your family. You had been devastated, your mother beyond herself. Your brother had been one of the soldiers defending the Mobile Suit factory. One of the first to die in the attack. His Leo had been no match from the demon that had descended from outer space. A Gundam, later named 02, had taken away so much from you.

Weeks after Mike’s funeral your family had been invited to visit the wiped out production facility. You had stood there, between the ruins, and vowed to take revenge for your brother’s death. If OZ didn’t bring him to justice, you would do it yourself. But the war had dragged on, and OZ had been defeated. The ESUN had been formed and none of the former Gundam Pilots were brought to trial. You had joined rallies, demonstrations, had screamed in protest. And that was where you had met Chris. He had invited you into his organization so you could find your brother’s killer.

And now he had turned out to be the man you were in love with. 

You buried your face in your hands and willed the tears away. You didn’t want to believe that Duo was a bad person. You had seen for yourself how hard he worked, how hard Heero and Wufei worked. How kind they were. And how young… The had been teenagers themselves during the war. Children still. And now as adults, they fought to contain the peace. 

If you exposed that… Exposed it all, none of that peace would remain. 

You couldn’t have such a conflict on your conscience, didn’t want it either. You didn’t want any more fighting. You had lost enough as it was. 

And had found so much more. You didn’t want to lose that. 

Taking deep breaths, you managed to calm yourself down enough for you to get up and go back into the house. The domestic looking and cozy living room didn’t look like it would belong to a killer. At loss for what to do, you went into the bedroom and crawled under the covers again. You willed sleep to come.

You’d be able to think much clearer after a night’s sleep. You’d figure out how to confront Duo about your discovery. It was time for honesty.

-x-x-x-

When you woke up the next morning, you found Duo curled up behind you, his arm snuggly wrapped around your waist. For a moment, one tiny moment, the night before seemed like a bad dream. You were just waking up in your lover’s arms, warm and safe. But he had taken your brother away from you. And yet… his embrace didn’t feel any different to you. Warm, safe, secure. And when he shifted in his sleep, pressing intimately against you, you felt familiar desire stir in your body.

“Duo?” 

“Hmm?” He grunted sleepily, nuzzling your hair away from the back of your neck. “What’s it, Babe?” 

His voice was heavy from sleep, but his tone warm. 

You grasped for words, desperately. “I’m sorry. I fell asleep.” 

“Well…” He pressed his lips against your neck, above the collar of the shirt you were wearing. “I didn’t mind that much. It was nice to come home and find you in my bed.” 

You turned over, burying your face in his chest, in his comforting scent and warmth. How could you let go of him now, when you knew how kind he was? Maybe you didn’t have to, a little voice whispered in the back of your mind, almost hopefully. 

But would that truly be possible?

You felt his fingers tangle in your hair and tipped your head back to look at him. His gaze was still heavy from sleep and a small smile played over his lips.

“Are you feeling better?” he asked.

You averted your gaze, focussing on the cross tattooed on his chest, reached out to trail a finger over the inked lines. “Yeah… I guess I do.” 

“I’m glad. I worried about you.” 

“It happens from time to time,” you murmured. “I’ll get over it.” 

“I have bad days too,” he told you. “Sometimes.”

“You do?” you gazed up at him in wonder, stunned by his confession. 

“Hmm…” He made a sound of affirmation and tugged you closer, tucking your head under his chin.

“I…” _wouldn’t have guessed._

And that was stupid on your part. Of course he would have bad days. He had fought in a war, had been OZ’s prisoner, had been tortured and starved… And God knew what else he had been through… In your mind the Gundam Pilots had always been cold blooded killers, something Chris had always insisted on. But you had met them, had befriended them. And although they were no ordinary people, they were normal enough. They were human and a such suffered as anyone else did. 

You reached for him, slipping your arm around his waist, snuggling up against him. Despite the pain he had unknowingly caused you, you needed his comfort much more. It was conflicting. 

“We should get up soon,” he murmured. “I can’t be late today.” 

“Right… the meeting with Une.” You didn’t make any move to get up though, waiting until you heard the alarm ring.

Duo slapped it silent and sighed. “Come on, Babe… Time for work.” 

You got ready for the day, sharing idle conversation during breakfast. Duo drove you both to work, and as soon as you sat behind your computer, you pulled out your phone. You opened the picture you had taken the night before, of the information in the file, and felt your heartbeat speed up as you stared at it.

_Fuck it,_ you thought and send the picture to Chris. _Care to tell me what the fuck this is?_

You pocketed your phone and booted up your computer. Time for work. 

All day, your phone remained silent and that gave you an uneasy feeling. When you went to get coffee during the afternoon, you texted Chris. 

_I no longer work for you._

And again, your phone remained silent. The uneasy feeling increased tenfold, and by the time your workday was almost over, you found yourself walking into Duo’s office.

“Do you have plans for the rest of the afternoon?” you asked him.

“Nope. Schedule is all clear.” He gave you a grin. “Wanna go some place?” 

“I thought we could go to the park. The weather is nice for a walk.” 

“Sure thing.” 

“Great.” You gave him a smile and went back to your desk. 

You’d keep Duo close to you. And neutral ground was necessary. You swallowed thickly. It was time to come clean, to confess everything. He would need to know what Truth Seeker really was and what he was up against. He needed to be prepared. 

For what though? You were terrified to find out, but knew you had to. And you hoped, desperately hoped that Duo would listen to you. That he wouldn’t judge you. 

Nerves made you jittery and you caught the concerned look that Dina gave you.

“Are you okay?” she asked you.

“Yeah…” _I will be._ Once you got everything cleared, you would be able to breathe easier. 

Maybe Duo would be angry… but would he really be once he learned that he had been the one to kill Mike? In any case… your conscience would be clear, and you would help him stop Truth Seeker in any way that you could. You had to be brave for this. So you packed your bag, and where ready by the time he came sauntering out of his office. You gave Dina and July both a smile as you got up and bid them a good evening. You hoped you’d be able to see them the next morning, you thought as you followed Duo to the elevator. 

The drive to the park was short, and you left your bags in the car as you walked to the entrance. Duo bought you a milkshake, and you felt charmed, a little more at ease when he took your hand and led you along the path to the pond. 

_It would be alright,_ you convinced yourself. _He would understand._

But it still was damned hard to muster up the courage to begin your confession. 

So instead, you settled for. “This is nice, no?” 

“Hmm…” He slung his arm around your shoulders and tugged you closer to him. “Sure is.” 

Autumn had begun to set in, coloring the leaves in deep hues of yellow, orange, and red. The October sun still carried enough warmth for the temperature to be pleasant. You wandered on, enjoying the fine weather, centering yourself for what was to come. 

“I actually want to talk to you about something,” you finally said. 

“Oh?” he inquired.

You took his hand and drew him to a halt, stepping up to him lay your mouth on his. “No matter what, you’ve given me a few good months, Duo. I want you to remember that while I tell you this.” 

A frown formed a crease between his eyebrows and he brought his hands up to cup your cheeks. “What are you talking about?” 

“There’s been something…” you bit your lip, trying to find the right words to continue. “I need to tell you this, because I can no longer keep it to myself.” 

You kept hold of his gaze, unwilling to look elsewhere. You had to look him in the eyes as you told him. “I… I am scared you’ll get angry.” 

“I promise I won’t,” he said, obviously confused about your reluctance to tell him. 

“It’s not so easy…” you murmured. “You see… I… I…” 

You faltered when you saw a dark figure appear behind Duo. You eyes widened in confusion, then fear when you saw them raise their hands. The crack of the bud of the gun against your lover’s skull was sickening. Duo’s eyes widened in shocked pain and he crumbled to the ground.

“No!” You darted forward to catch him. 

He slumped in your arms and before you had a chance to blink, you felt something hit the back of your own head. 

_No… God no…_ was all you could think as your vision went black.

**\- End part 2 -**


	3. Part 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY, the third part is here! I promise I will get to writing the other parts of this story right away, so I can hopefully post part 4 soon!
> 
> Disclaimer: I don’t own Gundam Wing, its characters, or you.

**Forgive and Forget  
Part 3**

_Unknown Location, Brussels area, AC 201_

Slowly, like a curtain being lifted, the darkness seeped from your mind. You became aware of a pounding headache that hammered at the front of your head and temples. The pain was so intense you had to squeeze your eyes shut against it. You tried to bring up your hands up to grasp your head, but found yourself unable to do so. Your hands felt limp, twisted behind your back and bound tightly. The floor was hard and ice cold, making already sore muscles cramp up. You tried to open your eyes, the dim light blinding and adding to the pain in your head. 

You blinked a few times, your eyes slowly adjusting, and found yourself in a familiar room. And immediately panic seized you. You tried to squirm into a sitting position, your breath stuttering out in a agonized sob as your shoulder protested the move. 

You had seen this room only a handful of times, on footage from the cameras installed in each corner of the room. It was, what Chris called, Truth Seeker’s interrogation room. Not many people had been in it, as members rarely defied the organization. But when they did…

Your breath came in a wheeze when your eyes fell on the body on the other side of the room.

“Duo!” 

Tears started to burn in your eyes as you squirmed over to him, and found him still unconscious. There was a nasty bruise on his temple, as if he had been hit a second time. 

“Duo!” You leaned forward, pressing your face into his neck and were relieved to find him still breathing. “Oh God. Baby… please, wake up.” 

He didn’t react to your terrified pleas. His arms were bound behind his back in a similar way to yours, the zip ties digging into his skin, chafing at it and leaving it an angry red. The pain in your own wrists reminded you that yours had to be in a similar state. 

“Oh… oh, God. I’m so sorry.” 

Your tears soaked the fabric of his shirt as you finally lost control of them, the fear so consuming that it left you near paralyzed. You had defied Chris, and he was going to make you pay for that. And Duo had been dragged into this mess… 

You tried to get your breathing under control, tried to stop the tears, but it was a hard fight to get that control. But you managed. You continued to murmur Duo’s name, and felt an incredible rush of relief when he stirred.

A groan escaped him as he tried to move his arms. 

“Duo…” You leaned in to whisper in his ear. “It’s okay. Try to stay calm.” 

You saw how he squeezed his eyes shut. “My head…” 

“Yeah… They got you good.” You nuzzled his hair, hoping to give him a bit of comfort. 

Your eyes widened, in shock, in terror, when you heard the door behind you open. Heavy footfalls came into the room and the next you were roughly yanked up, and away from Duo.

You cried out in pain as your arms were bend painfully as you were dragged out of the room. You stumbled along, dared a glance over your shoulder and found Duo being dragged out of the room in a similar fashion. 

You had never seen the men that surrounded you. Truth Seeker had many international members, and it seemed Chris had pulled them from whichever corner for this purpose. Strong and burly… to control Duo, you realized. Your lover was putting up quite a fight, ramming his shoulders into the men surrounding him. You winced when one of them delivered a strong blow to his jaw, sending him sprawling onto the ground.

You turned around and made a dash for him, only to be grabbed again, this time by your hair. You couldn’t contain the cry as your head was painfully yanked back, and felt the sharp edge of a blade dig into the skin of your throat.

“You better cooperate,” one of the men warned. “Or one of you dies.” 

Duo met your gaze for one moment, cold fury reflecting in the violet orbs, and then he was dragged up from the floor again. You were brought into what you recognized as the main hall of the building that house Truth Seeker’s headquarters. You were dragged in under loud, vindictive shouts from the people gathered there. 

A cold feeling settled in your stomach when you were dragged forward, the man grabbing your hair once more as you were brought face to face with Chris.

“You bastard,” you hissed at him. 

He simply smirked and then stepped aside to reveal Ivy waiting behind him. She was grinning maniacally and the knife in her hand flashed silver in the light of industrial lights above. 

“You decided to betray me,” Chris said, once the gathered members had calmed down. 

You glared at him. “You lied to everyone.” 

He laughed scornfully, and circled around you. “Is that so?” 

“You always said this organization solely existed to expose the truth,” you snapped, looking around you to gauge the reaction of the people in the main hall. “That we wouldn’t have to use violence.” 

Ivy chuckled darkly. “You were so naive, -Y/N-.”

“Maybe I was,” you agreed. “But I never agreed to terrorist attacks!” 

That send the members in to murmurs and you noticed how Chris’s eyes flashed dangerously. The slap to your face send you sprawling on the floor. At Duo’s feet, you realized with a sinking feeling. You knew that he would find out everything now. But there was no going back and neither did you want to. Your eyes reflected with a quiet apology when you were dragged up again.

“You ordered guns, explosives! FOR WHAT?” you whirled around to glare at Chris.

He paled considerably at your words, and mentioned the men surrounding Duo to grab onto him. 

“Be very careful,” he warned you. “Or your boyfriend here is dead.” 

You looked at Duo over your shoulder, and he gave you a somewhat reassuring look. 

“You’re afraid,” you realized as you turned your attention back to Chris. “You kept it a secret from everyone.” 

Chris only scoffed and mentioned Ivy over. His arm slid around her shoulders and she leaned into him, her smile cold and terrifying. She seemed to gloat over being in a position that had once been yours. Too bad for her you didn’t mind one bit at having lost it. 

“You used me,” you snapped. “Used my grief and insecurities. You’re a sick bastard, Chris.” 

He laughed and leaned forward to grasp your chin. “Don’t pretend you didn’t enjoy it.”

You spat in his face. “You’re a sorry excuse for a man.” 

Ivy’s eyes narrowed. “I’ll teach you a lesson.” 

“Good idea.” Chris drew a knife from the sheath at his belt and moved around you, cutting the zip ties so your hands were free. “See if you can keep up with her.” 

Ivy’s knife glinted like cold dead, but you weren’t afraid to fight her. Heero had taught you how to fight against an armed person. With some luck, you might be able to beat her.

You rolled your shoulders until the circulation in your arms had come back. “Bring it on.” 

Ivy circled you and you turned, staying face to face with her. You were very careful not to appear too relaxed as you wanted her to believe your training hadn’t been any deeper than the things you had been taught by Chris. Duo was watching you intently, but your forced yourself not to pay too much attention to him. You needed to keep your wits about you.

Ivy charged, the knife coming down in a flash, but you blocked her arm with a jab of your elbow. She danced out of your reach and laughed, pouncing again. You grabbed her wrist to keep the knife away from you and delivered a sharp jab to her stomach with your free hand, before jumping back. She grinned darkly, the hand not holding the knife pressing over the sore spot. 

“What?” you questioned her. “You didn’t think I sat twiddling my thumps at Preventer, did you?” 

“Fuck you!” she spat, and charged again.

The crowd, although thinned after your revelations, watched with bathed breath as you dodged the knife again, and swiftly moved around Ivy, delivering a spinning kick to her lower back that send her sprawling to the floor. The knife skidded over the floor and came to a halt in front of Chris’ boot. He stepped on it when she dashed for it and gave her a grin.

“You can take her with your bare hands, my Darling.” 

Ivy’s grin was pure madness when she whirled towards you. But now you would have the upper hand. No longer holding back, you charged forward and engaged her in a series of exchanged blows. She managed to land one on your stomach, but Heero had taught you how to best take such a punch. It hurt, but it could have been far worse. You countered with a blow to her jaw, which send her flying backwards.

She landed flat on her back and lifted her head to glare at you. But the steely resolve in her gaze was less sure now. You grinned darkly when she scrambled up again. You had her and she knew it. And when she came at you again, you made a grab for both her wrists.

“Greetings from 01, bitch,” you spat, and head butted her. 

Ivy’s face only showed pained shock and betrayal and then nothing, as she crashed head first to the floor with a sickening crack and remained still. 

You stood panting, glaring down at her prone body. 

Chris’s glare was menacing as realization dawned. “You know who the Gundam Pilots are.” 

You chuckled. “I know who the Gundam Pilots are.” 

Behind you, Duo went pale with shock. 

“You fucking traitorous bitch,” Chris spat out. 

You had only a few seconds to blink, before he charged towards you and his fist contacted with your cheek. The last thing you saw was the ground coming up to meet you. 

-x-x-x-

When you regained consciousness a second time, you found yourself back in the interrogation room. Duo was sitting next to your prone body, his hands still tied behind his back. But yours were free, you realized when you tried to move them.

“Fuck…” you whispered as you brought a hand up to your swollen cheek. 

You ran your tongue along your teeth and were glad to find them all still in place. You tried to scramble up into a sitting position, only to find your ribs protesting in agony. You collapsed to the floor and curled up in a ball as a moan tore from your throat. 

“He kicked you,” Duo said. 

You carefully pressed your hand against your ribs, trying to feel if there were any fractures. They appeared to be only bruised, but it still was difficult to breathe through the pain. 

Your second attempt at sitting up was more successful and you turned towards Duo to look at him. You were at loss for words, having no idea what to say to him. But when you got a good look at his face, words burst out of you.

“Oh my God!” you scooted over and gently took hold of his chin, examining his blackened eye and bruised cheek. The skin was nearly black with discoloration, his eyes swollen shut. “Duo…” 

“I’ve had worse,” he said brusquely. 

“I’m so sorry…” you whispered as you leaned forwards to rest your head against his shoulder. “You shouldn’t have been dragged into this.” 

“It’s a little late for that.” He turned his face into your hair and lowered his voice to a whisper. “There’s a knife in my left boot.” 

Your eyes widened and you sat up straight to look at him. “How did you manage that?” 

He gave a somewhat lopsided grin. “I have my ways. Think you can get it out and cut my arms free?” 

You moved so that your back obscured the view of the cameras in the corners. You sat close to Duo as you made a grab for his combat booted feet, and found the knife there. Ivy’s knife. You had no idea how Duo had managed to get a hold of it, but now that you had it, it would be your only defense against whoever dared to enter the room now. You had a weapon. 

You carefully cut the zip ties around Duo’s wrists and lay the knife down on the ground between your legs. 

“Keep your arms behind your back,” you whispered.

You reached for his wrists, and gently rubbed the angry red skin. His fingers were cold from the lack of circulation, and you tried to warm them by massaging them. 

“Keep the knife,” Duo whispered. “I’ll be fine without it.” 

“Sure.” You leaned forward and rested your head against his shoulder, your arms coming to encircle his waist. He let you hold him, but you could tell he was thrumming with tension. 

“They know we’re awake,” you said. “They’ll be here soon.” 

He grunted in reply. 

You kept a careful eye on the cameras and your heartbeat sped up when you noticed the red lights blinking on the corners of the devices were turned off. That could only mean one thing. 

Duo had noticed it too. “Get ready.” 

“What will we do?” you questioned quietly, while reaching for the knife and slipping it into the sleeve of your sweater. 

“You know the way around here?” he asked.

“Yeah.”

“Good. Then you’ll know how to get us out of here.”

The next moment, the door swished open. Chris stood in the doorway, his glare trained on you and Duo.

“Get up.”

Knowing it was best to let him think that Duo’s hands were still tied behind his back, you carefully scrambled up, biting back a hiss at the pain it caused your aching ribs. The motherfucker knew how to deliver a kick. You were careful to keep the knife concealed as you stepped forward and stuck out your chin in a defiant gesture.

Chris snarled and burst forward. Before you had a chance to blink, his hands shackled around your throat and he forcefully slammed you back into the wall. You gasped, the sound coming out in a wheeze as he tightened his grip around your throat to cut off your air supply. 

“Think you can defy me?” he hissed. “I’ll make you pay in such a way you’ll wish you’d never been born.” 

“Asshole!” you wheezed out. 

He laughed, the sound dark. “Don’t think I’ll let you get away with this, -Y/N-.”

From the corner of your eyes, you could see Duo inching to get up from his seated position. Knowing you only had once chance to act, and – God, the thought made you nauseous- you let the knife slip from your sleeve into your hand. 

“Sleeping with some Preventer!” Chris hissed. “You whore!” 

Your vision blurred as you struggled for air, all your focus on raising your arm. “Fuck you…” 

Chris tightened his grip even more, his sole focus now on strangling you. Gathering all your strength, you plunged the knife down, slamming it into tender flesh. The sound it of breaking though skin and muscle was horrible. Immediately, Chris released his hold on you, and you gasped painfully as you finally managed to drag some air into your lungs again, doubling over as you coughed and grasped your ribs in agony. Chris staggered back, face ashen and eyes wide in shock, the knife protruding from his neck. 

He tried to draw a breath, and the sound was so horribly gurgling it nearly made you retch. Blood welled up, frothing on his lips. His hand came up, inching towards you face, but Duo shot up and knocked him to the ground, effectively keeping him away from you.

Chris’s body convulsed on the ground and he desperately tried to drag air into his lungs. The sound of his breathing increased and then he went still. You stared at him with wide, horror filled eyes. Duo reached for the knife and pulled it from the prone body, calmly wiping it on Chris’ shirt. The sight of the red stain on the blue fabric made a wave of nausea wash over you and you bolted over to the corner, a hand clasped over your mouth.

Duo was at your side the next instant, strong arms holding you up as heaved. You moaned when nothing came up. “Fuck.”

“It’s okay. Come on, we gotta get out of here.” 

You pressed your face against his chest to avoid looking at the body on the floor as he guided you past it. “Oh God,” you wheezed out. “He’s dead.” 

“Yeah…” Duo checked the hallway. “Which way?” 

“I killed him.” 

He cupped your cheeks and forced you to meet his gaze. “-Y/N-, you have to focus. Which way?” 

You swallowed thickly and pointed right. “Over there.”

“Okay. What floor are we on?” he asked quietly as he pulled you with him into the hallway. 

“I…” You squeezed your eyes shut and tried, desperately, to remember. “I don’t know. Shit. Third?” 

“We can work with that. Are there many people in this building?” 

“I think so. Usually not as much as there were when they took us to the main hall.” The conversation helped you focus and suppress the panic still bubbling wildly in your stomach. 

“Okay.” Duo drew to a halt when the hallway split up. “Staircase?” 

“To the left, but we’ll have to go past the sleeping quarters.” You looked to the right and your eyes widened as you suddenly remembered something. “If we go right we can get out through the windows.” 

“Good thinking.” 

Together you made a dash through the hallway. Somewhere behind you, you heard voices rise and instinctively knew that Chris’ body had been found.

The hallway made a turn right, but you drew to a halt in front of the floor to ceiling window. Your stomach rolled at the thought of the long drop down, but it was your only way for a quick exit. 

“Move over.” 

You jumped back when Duo came bounding passed you, slamming a chair through the window. The breaking glass alerted the people in the building and you head footsteps racing down the hallway.

Duo grabbed your hand. “Come on!” 

Gathering all your courage, you took a running leap and held on to Duo’s hand for dear life as you plunged down towards the lake. The water was cold and the shock of it nearly made you black out. Duo’s arms wrapped around you and he pulled you up towards the surface. You gulped in air and coughed, curling your fingers around the fabric of Duo’s shirt as he starting swimming, propelling you both away from the building. The current was strong and Duo gritted his teeth as he fought against it. You were glad when he managed to get you both to the shore on the other side.

You crawled out of the water, the panic finally taking over. The first wail escaped you and the sound of it was even terrifying to you. You felt shaken to the core, the fact that you had taken a life heavy on your conscience. You cried, but there were no tears.

Duo wrapped his arms around you and crushed you against his chest. “Hey. Its okay. I’ve got you.” 

“I killed him!” you sobbed. 

“Shh…” Gathering you close, Duo got up with you in his arms and started walking. 

You huddled against his chest, too overcome to think straight. Your body was cooling down rapidly, from shock and the cold water. You had killed a man. How had you ever thought taking a life would be easy? 

Duo located a parked car and set you down on the ground. You swayed on your feet and he was quick to steady you, giving your shoulders a firm shake to pull you out of your revery. “Can you stand on your own?” 

His question barely registered and he cursed when he noticed. “-Y/N-! Stay with me!” 

His urgent tone broke through and your spine snapped taut, enabling you to keep your balance. 

He gave you an encouraging look and tapped your cheek. “That’s it. This will only take a minute, okay?” 

He went to work, pulling some pins from his hair, and soon he unlocked the passenger’s door of the car. He shoved you into the seat and quickly went to work on getting the car to start. You could only look at him in silence as he worked, connecting wires to jumpstart the engine. When it rumbled to life he gave a triumphant grin. 

He turned up the heat full blast and stomped on the gas, navigating the car along the road. 

When he reached a crossing you suddenly surfaced. “Turn left here.” 

“Okay.” He steered the car in the direction you told him to go and glanced at you. “You were going into shock.”

“I guess…” You pushed your wet hair back and fought the violent shivers that racked your body. The cold didn’t help your ribs any, and you pressed your hand over them in a vain attempt to support them. 

Luckily the heater worked well, and soon the car became pleasantly warm. You focused on giving directions, knowing it would keep the terrible thoughts at the back of your mind at bay. But when Duo drove into familiar territory, you could only sit fidgeting in silence. 

“Does it…” you said suddenly.

“Hmm?” Duo glanced at you again. “What?” 

“Does it always feel so terrible the first time?” you asked.

He made a surprised noice in the back of his throat at your question. “You never get used to it,” he finally said.

You cast your gaze down. Tears brimmed in your eyes and you were too weak to fight them. “I feel awful.” 

He was silent for some time as he drove, steering the car into the direction of his house. When the car rolled to a stop he spoke again. “Come on. We have to get you warmed up.” 

You scrambled out of the car and followed him to the house. His keys had been taken during your brief captivity, but Duo effectively produced a spare key from it’s hiding place. He ushered you inside and through the living room. 

In the bathroom, he turned on the shower and started pulling off your wet clothes. You reached for him when he stepped back and frowned in confusion. 

“Duo… You’re cold too.” 

“I’ll be fine,” he said.

“But…” You gazed up at him, noticing for the first time that his lips had turned blue from the cold. You wildly shook your head and grabbed the hem of his sweater. “Don’t be stubborn.” 

He took your hand and stopped you. “Don’t worry.” 

You swallowed thickly, realizing that he was distancing himself from you. You had no idea how to stop it from happening. Knowing you would be able to think better after a shower, you let go of him and stepped into the shower stall. You bit your lip when you heard him close the door and were unable to stop the tears. They rolled down our cheeks, mingling with the water as you aimlessly stood under the spray. Muffling the sobs was impossible, so you cried helplessly.

You didn’t mourn Chris. You mourned everything you had lost and were about to lose. You knew that Duo would have questions and that he already looked at you through different eyes. But that was exactly what you deserved, wasn’t it? If it weren’t for you, he wouldn’t have been dragged into this mess. Would he believe you if you told him you loved him?

When Duo came to check on you, he found you huddling in a corner of the shower stall, knees drawn up to your chest. The tears had stopped, but you still felt incredibly lost. 

Duo turned off the water and held out a hand to you. “Come on, let’s get you dressed.” 

“Do you hate me?” you asked him in a small voice.

He sighed. “We’ll talk later okay?” 

You slowly got up and took the towel he held out to you. He had brought you some clothes and quickly slipped into them. You noticed he had changed and that his hair was loose from its usual braid. He had bound it into a ponytail at the back of his neck and water droplets still clung to the chestnut locks. He had probably showered in the bathroom that adjoined the guest bedroom. 

It was the first time you saw his hair loose and you marveled at the length of it in its unbound state. It almost reached the back of his knees. 

You followed him into the living room, where he made his way over to the window to stare outside. You stood awkwardly, not knowing where to start.

“I imagine you have a lot of questions,” you said quietly.

He snorted humorlessly. “That’s an understatement.” 

“I was going to tell you everything yesterday.” You tugged on the sleeve of your sweater, fidgeting nervously. 

“Were you now?” He turned around and crossed his arms in front of his chest, pinning you with a cool look. It was shocking to see he could turn so cold. “You didn’t lure me to the park so they could capture me?” 

Your mouth fell open and the hurt you felt at his stinging words was obvious on your face. “No! No, of course not!”

He scoffed. “Really now? Because I knew what you were up to, -Y/N-!”

You stared at him, not really comprehending the meaning of his words. “What are you talking about?” 

“Do you think Preventer didn’t know about your background when you joined the academy?” he questioned with a smirk. “We knew. I simply was assigned to HQ to capture you.” 

Your mouth fell open in horror and you felt your heart break into a thousand pieces when realization sank in. Everything had been a lie… He had started a relationship with you to expose you. A wretched sob wrung from your throat and you were too late to stop it from escaping.

“No…” A part of you refused to believe that it had all been an act. None went that far for their job, right? Right? 

“Y-you…” Tears blurred your vision. “I was going to tell you. I cut all ties with Truth seeker earlier.” 

“So you were part of that organization?” he almost sounded gleeful at the prospect of your confession.

You wanted to hate him, but you couldn’t. Not yet. You hung your head in shame and nodded. “I was.” 

“Why?” he bit out. “Weren’t you happy with the peace?” 

“I was.” You wrapped your arms around yourself and raised your eyes to look at him. “But I was fed the belief that Preventer employed terrorists.” 

He grew very still, all cockiness disappearing and his face paled. And then his cheeks flushed with anger. “You have no idea of what some people sacrificed so you could live your life.” 

The accusation was apparent in his tone and send your own anger rising. “You have no idea of the shit I went through! I live with the consequences of the war every day!” 

“Do you now?” he questioned tauntingly. “Do you wake up every night, trying not to scream in terror because you keep on reliving these memories time and time again? Do you feel like you’re a walking target?” 

“My brother died!” you exclaimed. “If it weren’t for you he’d still be around!” 

His eyes widened, and once again he turned pale as a sheet. “What did you say?” 

You stood shaking, your hands balled into fists at your sides. You lowered your gaze to the floor so he wouldn’t see the grief etched on your face. 

“My brother died on April seventh, AC 195,” you said quietly. “He was one of the soldiers in the first defense line that protected the Mobile Suits factory in North America when it was attacked by Gundam 02.” 

He was staring at you in utter horror as the weight of your words settled in. 

“Yes, Duo! You killed him! Isn’t it ironic that I had to fall in love with you?” you questioned. “And now I begin to wonder if anything I saw of you is real.” 

He looked as if he was about to collapse on the spot. 

“I bet Preventer didn’t tell you that when they assigned you to me,” you bit out. 

“Shut up,” he snapped, shaking his head wildly.

“I was part of Truth Seeker, yes,” you continued, your voice stronger now. “I joined Preventer to expose information on the terrorists it protects, but then I met you. And I began wishing for something different. I wanted true happiness so I turned my back on the mission I was given. But then I found out who you are…” 

You felt more tears come up and pressed a hand over your eyes, taking a deep breath before continuing. Your voice became less steady, choked with the emotions that threatened to overwhelm you. “I didn’t want to hate you. And all this time you were just pretending…” 

The wave of nausea caused you to bolt from the room. In the bathroom, you violently emptied your stomach’s contents in the toilet. You were left clutching your ribs as you heaved, the agony causing you to feel lightheaded. Tears rolled down your cheeks as you slumped to your knees, a miserable moan escaping you.

You heard Duo enter the bathroom behind you and sobbed. He rummaged around and the next moment he offered you a wet towel. “Here.”

You took the towel from him and got up to rinse your mouth. You didn’t dare to meet his eyes, afraid you’d see more anger and accusation in them. When you were done, he reached for you and took your elbow. 

You were quick to yank yourself free. “Don’t touch me.” 

He froze, his eyes darkening. “I’ll have to turn you in.” 

You shook your head. “Do whatever you must, but don’t touch me. I can’t bear it.” 

He turned his face away from you, and for a moment you dared to think he felt ashamed. “Fine.” 

“You go very far for your job,” you said, and watched his shoulders stiffen. “I can’t help but imagine you laughing about me behind my back with Heero and Wufei.” 

“They didn’t know.” 

You could only stare at him in disbelief. “Yeah right.” 

He scoffed. “I don’t have to explain myself to you.” 

You set after him when he turned around and left the bathroom. “You slept with me! How could you?!?” 

He shook his head and continued on, slamming and locking the bedroom door behind him. You rattled the handle, panic washing over you.

“Duo!” You slammed your fist against the wood, your voice rising when you realized he had locked you up. 

He had only consoled you after you had killed Chris to get you out and turn you in. He didn’t believe you… He had slept with you for his mission. All of it had been an act. You didn’t realize you were crying again. But this time the grief was almost too much to bear. You had fallen in love with the man who had taken your brother away from you, only to realize that nothing of it had been real. He had been damn convincing. 

You set for the windows, only to discover that they were effectively locked. You couldn’t get out. Your breathing came in panicked gasps, further aggravating your ribs. You sank down on the bed and lowered your head between your knees. You had to calm down. 

You sat for a long time with darkness falling around you, getting your breathing under control. When you finally felt calm enough, you slid down to the floor and leaned your head back against the bed and tried to order your thoughts. Duo was going to turn you in, and likely Preventer would bring in other Truth Seeker members. The idea of being confronted with them sickened you. You had killed Chris, and that was not something the others would take lightly. 

You didn’t notice the shadow moving in front of the window. The next moment and rock came sailing through the glass and you jolted up as shards rained over you. You had barely any time to blink, as the next moment a body pounced on you, knocking you back onto the bed.

You cried out when hands shackled around your throat. It was Ivy, her eyes wild with madness, red hair tangling around her face as she struggled to keep you pressed against the bed.

“DUO!” 

You clawed at Ivy’s hands, trying to get them away from your throat. The flesh was still sensitive from Chris’ abuse. Duo must have heard the window breaking and the sounds of the struggle, you hoped. Ivy’s hands were forcibly locked around your throat, and you couldn’t dislodge them. Desperate, you tried to look around the room to locate something to hit her with. Your eyes fell on the lamp on the nightstand. 

You groaned as you reached for it, as your movements made her jab her knee into your ribs. Your fingers closed around the lamp, and you twisted, slamming the object into her temple. Ivy fell limply to the side, a stunned expression on her face. 

She lay gasping, grasping her head with both hands. “You fucking bitch!” 

You got up and moved away from the bed, intent to get to the door and call for Duo again. 

She was on you again in an instant. You jammed your elbow into her ribs. 

“DUO!”

“He won’t hear you!” She said tauntingly. “He drank himself into a stupor and is passed out at the kitchen table.” 

What? No! Shit. 

You whirled around and knocked Ivy back. “The fuck do you want?” 

“You know who the Gundam Pilots are!” Her eyes flashed madly. “And I won’t stop coming for you until I know too!” 

You stilled for a moment. Ivy still didn’t know. That meant the rest of Truth Seeker didn’t either. And despite Duo’s betrayal, you weren’t planning on ever revealing your knowledge to anyone else. You didn’t want to have another conflict on your conscience. So as far as Ivy knew, Duo was just some Preventer you had hooked up with. 

“What makes you think I’ll tell you?” you snapped.

She smirked. “I’ll kill your boyfriend if you don’t.” 

Fury rose, and you were quick to jump on top of her, forcefully knocking her to the ground. You delivered a punch to her jaw, knocking her unconscious. You sat on top of her for a moment longer, breathing harshly. 

You looked around franticly, found your robe on the chair in the corner and quickly scrambled up to get the sash. You tied Ivy’s hands together behind her back, pulling the knot tight and bound her to the bed post. You scrambled up when you were done and made a dash for the window. 

You carefully climbed out, avoiding the shards still stuck in the frame, and rounded the house. You peeked though the kitchen window, and found Duo asleep at the table. Even in his alcohol induced state of unconsciousness, his expression was troubled. Your heart ached as you stared at him. You didn’t want to believe that all of it had been an act to expose you. None could act that convincingly. 

You took a deep, shuddering breath and started on your way to your apartment. You walked quickly, knowing that you had little time for the plan that began to form. Truth Seeker would come after you. Ivy wouldn’t rest until she knew who the Gundam Pilot was that had ruined her life. Duo had said that Heero and Wufei hadn’t known about you. Their kindness to you had been genuine, so you would protect them. You’d get away. 

You reached your apartment and found the place trashed. Of course, Ivy had visited the place first before seeking out Duo’s address. You carefully made your way around, grabbing the go back that was still stashed in the back of your closet. There were things about you that Truth Seeker hadn’t known about.

You opened the bag and checked the wads of cash and several fake passports in it. Taking a deep breath, you pulled out the hair dye and went to work in the bath room. You worked quickly, and while the dye settled in, rounded up your spare phone and stuffed some clothes into the bag. You rinsed out your hair, braided it and were out of the apartment in seconds. You pulled the hood of your coat over your head and checked the time on your phone. You prayed you were still in time to make it to the station so you could catch the night train to Antwerpen. 

You were on auto pilot, refusing to think about Duo and the situation. It was too painful and right now you needed to get away. You’d keep his secret safe and you would do that by getting as far away from him as possible. You could only hope he would wake in time to find Ivy. 

-x-x-x-

“What the Hell?!”

You jerked awake at the unexpected voice and jolted up in panic. Your hiding place had been discovered. The man standing in front of you was young, and he gazed at you in stunned silence. 

“How did you get here?” he exclaimed when he finally had regained his wits. 

He made a grab for your arm and yanked you to your feet. You swayed, still not used to the way the ship moved on the waves. 

“I’m…” You fell silent when he noticed your bag still stuffed between the crates you had hid behind. 

He grabbed it too and yanked you with him. “We’ll speak to the captain.” 

You swallowed uncomfortably and reluctantly followed him through the cargo hold of the ship. The ship lurched from left to right and you had trouble keeping your footing. The man obviously had no problem navigating along the swaying ship and easily found his way to the stairs that led to the upper deck. 

The sunlight was bright, reflecting on the dark expanse of glittering water around you. It assaulted your already frail nerves and you had to squint to see where you were going. There were more staircases, a long, narrow hallway, and then the man threw open the door to the bridge.

“Captain!” he announced. “I’ve found a stowaway.” 

The men gathered in the room turned to look at you, and one of them stepped forward. His brown hair and beard were peppered with grey and he had a hard look in his eyes. His lips pressed together in a thin line. 

“What were you thinking, Missy?” he asked you as he looked you up and down, no doubt noticing the fading bruises on your face and around your throat, and the jagged hair cut you had given yourself in the bathroom of Antwerpen station now almost a week ago. 

You swallowed thickly. “I’m sorry to cause you trouble. I was in need of transport.” 

“To what place?” he questioned. 

You shrugged. “Anywhere,” you answered vaguely.

“Got a name?” 

The young man still holding your arm held out your bag. “She had this with her.” 

The captain took your bag and opened it, his brows raising in question when he saw the cash stashed away between your clothes. He took out the passport on top of it and checked it. You knew it looked real enough and since it was forged with the newest techniques you could safely travel with it if you wanted. You hoped he wouldn’t thoroughly search through the bag and discover the other passports hidden at the bottom.

“Julia -Y/N- Escott.” The captain leafed through the passport. 

“I go by my middle name mostly,” you supplied meekly.

“I found her hiding away in the cargo hold.” 

“How long have you been there?” the captain asked you.

“A week.” 

“You didn’t think to get off the ship in Lisbon?” 

“I need to be a bit further away than Lisbon,” you said.

“We will reach Philadelphia in four days,” the captain said. “I’ll have to turn you over to authorities there.” 

You swallowed thickly and prepared to beg. “Please… no. I can’t go to the authorities.” 

You had followed the news on your spare phone, and knew that Preventer had issued a warrant for your arrest. If you were turned over to authorities, you’d find yourself on your way back to Brussels in no time. 

The desperation in your voice made the captain raise an eyebrow. “Got trouble with the law then?” 

You swallowed thickly. “I promise I won’t cause you any trouble, but I can’t go to the police.” 

“I’m afraid I won’t have a choice.”

The prospect made you feel lightheaded and you staggered. The young man was quick to support you.

“Hey. What’s the matter?” 

“I’m dizzy.” 

“Sit down over there.” The captain took your other arm and ushered you over to a chair in the corner. 

You gratefully sank down and raised a trembling hand to push your hair back. “I’m sorry. I just…” 

Taking pity on you, the young man went to grab a bottle of water and offered it you. You gave him a grateful look and sipped from the bottle to soothe your sudden dry throat. 

“I got into some trouble,” you said quietly. “I just need to get to the United States and then I’ll be alright.” 

The captain sighed. “How old are you, -Y/N-?” 

“I’m almost twenty, sir.”

“These people you got in trouble with, are they dangerous?” 

“Yes.” 

The captain pursed his lips and stroked a hand over his beard. “Alright. Rick, I need you to add her details to our crew list. For the next four days she’ll help out in the kitchen.” 

The young man nodded. “I’ll get right to it.” 

He left the room and you gazed up at the captain in surprise. “You’re helping me?” 

“You look desperate and in need of help,” he said, his tone warming and turning kind. He made a gesture to his throat, indicating the bruises on your own. “I won’t turn you over to authorities, but you’ll get off board in Philly, young lady.” 

“Thank you.” You gave him a grateful look and allowed a small smile to form.

“Rick will appoint you to a cabin where you can shower. I imagine you’ll need one after a week in the cargo hold.” He retrieved your bag and held it out to you. “You might want to hide this somewhere safe.”

You took the bag, grateful for his help. But even so, you were already thinking of ways to get off the ship as soon as it docked. You weren’t going to take the risk of trusting these people. 

The young man, Rick, returned and mentioned you to follow him. You left the bridge and took the staircase down, and walked after him into another long hallway. It had doors on one side, and you realized these had to be the crew cabins. Rick opened one of the doors and gestured for you to step inside. 

The room was small, but the bed looked comfortable enough. Heavenly actually, after days of sleeping on the cold hard surface of the cargo hold. 

“The sanitary facilities are down the hallway.” He made a gesture with his thump.

“Rick, was it?” you questioned. “Thank you. And sorry for scaring you.” 

He shrugged. “No worries. I’ll tell the cook to prepare some food for you.” 

Taking the captain’s words to heart, you took your bag with you as you left the room to take a shower. The warm water was heavenly as it cascaded over your sore body. Your ribs still hurt and moving was still torture sometimes, but as you had spend most of your time resting the past week they had healed significantly. 

You washed away sweat and grime, and felt so refreshed afterwards that you almost wanted to weep. You dug out some clean clothes from your bag and got dressed, stuffing the dirty clothes in a plastic bag. When you stepped out of the shower stall, you found an older woman in front of one of the mirrors lining the wall opposite the shower stalls. 

She eyed you curiously as you stepped up next to her and you saw how she noticed your hair.

She clucked her tongue. “I’ll fix that for you.” 

You gave her an embarrassed smile. “That’s very kind of you.” 

She stepped closer and took a lock of your hair between her finger. “What did you cut it with?” 

“Uhm… kitchen scissors.” 

Her brow rose and she clucked her tongue again. “Yeah… I’ll fix that for you, Dear. Come with me.” 

You followed her and she led you into a common room with various comfortable sofa’s and chairs. She pulled a chair from the table and turned it, making a gesture for you to sit down. You did, and she retrieved a set of scissors from one of the cupboards.

“I cut the boys’ hair too,” she said as she pulled a comb through your hair. 

You sat patiently as she cut your hair, getting rid of the jagged ends. In the end you were left with a rather stylish bob. She handed you a mirror and you broke into a smile when you saw the result.

“Thank you!” 

“You’re welcome. You got a name?” 

“-Y/N-.”

“Aah. Rick already told me you would be stopping by in the kitchen later.” She started sweeping up the hair from the floor. “I’m Linda, and I’m also the cook.” 

“Good to know. I’ll come with you to the kitchen if that’s okay with you.” 

She gave a curt nod and you followed her to kitchen. The more you walked, the more you became accustomed to the ship’s movements. It settled you a little, as you had been terribly nauseous before. 

“I’m in charge of the kitchen and the cleaning staff,” Linda explained as she walked into the large industrial kitchen. 

She showed you around, and afterwords produces a plate of food from the oven. “Here.” 

You took the plate from her and practically inhaled the meat and vegetables. It smelled heavenly after a week of living of ration bars. “Thank you.”

You wolfed down the meal, while Linda watched in amusement. When you were done she ordered you to get some rest and be back in the kitchen at four so you could help start dinner preparations.

You got up and prepared to walk out of the kitchen.

“Oh, that’s right,” Linda said suddenly, making you halt in your tracks. “If you are in need of lady supplies, I’ve got you covered.” 

“Uh… sure.” You continued on your way, and halted again when a sudden thought came to you. You felt all color drain from your face.

“Is something wrong?” Linda asked.

“What date is it?” you croaked. 

“November third, Dear.” 

Shit. You had completely forgotten… All the stress and fear of the past few days had totally made you loose track of time. Your period should have started four days ago! 

“Thanks.” You managed to get the word out, despite the fact that your throat felt as if it had closed up. 

You made your way back to your room and hid your bag under the bed, before collapsing on top of it. You curled up in a fetal position and squeezed your eyes shut as you mind spun wildly. Your period was late. Maybe the nausea you had experienced the past few days wasn’t all due to sea sickness. The idea was foreign and terrifying. A baby. How was that possible? You had taken your pill every day! You hadn’t missed one. You took a deep, shuddering breath. You’d have to get a test once you set foot on land. 

And then you realized how precarious your situations was. If you were indeed pregnant… What were you to do? You couldn’t go to an abortion clinic with the warrant for your arrest still fresh, because they would discover there that the passports you carried on you were fake. You would have to carry the pregnancy to full term. Going to your parents was out of the question. You didn’t want them to have another reason to antagonize you and it would probably be one of the first places Preventer would seek out. If they hadn’t already…

You’d have to disappear. A small, rural town where news from the outside barely came through would be a good place. You pulled out your phone and unlocked it, pulling up the picture you had downloaded from your cloud a few days ago. It had been a risky move as Preventer might be able to trace the phone, but your stubborn heart had wanted at least one reminder of the happiness you had known the past few months.

You stared at the picture of you and Duo, and felt tears brimming your eyes. He stared back at you from the screen with warm eyes and his trade mark grin in place. A part of you still refused to believe that he was that much of a convincing actor. There had been too many genuine looks and gestures. The way he had touched and kissed you was not the way of someone pretending. 

But you had been his mission.

You sobbed and pressed your face into the pillow. The heartbreak was so much worse now that you were faced with the possible consequences of your relationship with him. He would never know.

-x-x-x-

The next few days you worked alongside Linda in the kitchen as the ship steadily continued on its way to Philadelphia. And as the days progressed, the symptoms became stronger. You knew that once you bought the test, your suspicions would be confirmed. Linda was a wonderful distraction, and as if sensing that you had a lot of trouble plaguing your mind, she always made sure there was something to do for you. You helped her clean around the ship, peeled countless potatoes while she entertained you with stories about her life on board, and served meal after meal to the crew. During the evenings you were so tired, you pretty much collapsed on your bed and slept through the night. 

As the ship neared Philadelphia, the captain gave the crew instructions on the docking procedure. You listened, but secretly drew your own plan. You were not going to go through the required security checks. You were planning to go off unnoticed. You had spend quite some time studying the harbor’s layout on your phone and hoped to make it to one of the exits before anyone noticed. You packed your bag an made sure the cash was stashed at the bottom, and watched through the tiny window in your room as the harbor came into view. You heard the intercom crack to life and the captain addressing the crew to begin preparations for docking. 

The hallway outside your door was abuzz with sounds, voices and footsteps echoing as the crew left their cabins. You waited until it had quieted down and only then opened your door, carefully peeking out to see if the coast was clear.

There was none about and you quietly crept through the hallway and down the stairs that would lead to the deck. You were planning to hide in the cargo hold, because the hatch would be opened first. You would hide close to it and get out once the harbor security had come aboard to sweep the ship. It was risky, but it was your only chance of escape. 

You had come this far, so you were determined to make it for the rest of your planned way too. 

The crew was so busy on the deck that none noticed you as you darted to the cargo hold. Rick was down there and you quickly hid behind some crates. You couldn’t have him find you down here a second time. Luckily he seemed to have already checked the area you were hiding in, as pretty soon, he started on his way to the deck. You breathed a sigh of relief and quietly made your way to the hatch. There were crates stashed close to it that had enough space behind them to hide behind. You squeezed into the narrow space, hugging your bag to your body. The harbor security hopefully wouldn’t notice you here. 

The ship shook as it docked in the harbor, and you waited in agonizing silence. Rick came downstairs again and opened the hatch to let in the harbor security. You squeezed your eyes shut and prayed to whatever God would listen that you could go off unnoticed. 

The harbor security greeted Rick in an amiable tone, telling you that he knew them. The two men stepped on board and began a sweep on the cargo. You saw how they started on the cargo stored on the other side of the hatch, and Rick walked with them as they did their round. As soon as they were out of sight you soundlessly crept out of your hiding spot and checked if you could slip out unnoticed. 

There was none on the wharf. Daring a glance behind you, you found that Rick had led the security staff to the back of the cargo hold. You carefully stepped onto the hatch and soundlessly crept along it until you were standing on the wharf. You had to get out of sight as soon as possible, but knew that if you ran it wouldn’t go unnoticed. You attempted a confident stride, as you walked into the harbor, pulling the hood of your coat over your head. You had to avoid getting your face caught on camera. You carried enough fake passports on your to assume several identities, but your face was registered in Preventer’s databank. 

Once you reached the center of the harbor you tried to determine in what direction you had to go to. You relied on memory as you set course in what had to be the direction of the exit. Your planned to get out by climbing over the gate close to the exit.

You walked for a long time, realizing the harbor was bigger than anticipated. For a moment you felt like panicking, but you told yourself that if the harbor was this big, it was unlikely that anyone would notice you. After what felt like hours, you reached the exit. You took in the gate through narrowed eyes. The security at the exit was tight, the bars opening only to allow registered people and vehicles through. 

You bit your lip as you scanned the fence that ran from the gate along the harbor’s perimeter. It was covered in barbed wire and you winced. That was not a nice prospect.

How were you to leave unnoticed?

An opportunity arose when a truck entered the facilities. One of the security guards stepped out and asked the driver for his documentation. The driver handed over his papers, to which the guard pointed something out. A heat discussion followed, which cased the second guard to step out as well.

Seeing your chance, you quickly dashed forward, moving past the guard’s station on the exit lane. You stooped low and ducked underneath the bar, and then broke out into a run. The guards didn’t even notice as you raced towards the bus stop at the end of the street, into an uncertain future.

**\- End part 3 -**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think of this part! :)


	4. Part 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Update time! I was on quite a roll with this part! I’m happy to have it finished so I can put it out there. Next on the list is an update for Burn to a Cinder, which I will hopefully managed the upcoming weekend!
> 
> Enjoy! :)
> 
> Disclaimer: I don’t own Gundam Wing, its characters, or you.

**Forgive and Forget  
Part 4**

_Bloomsburg, Pennsylvania – USA, AC 206_

The sun was beating down on you endlessly and even the shade provided little relief. You sighed and shifted, glad you had chosen to pull your hair up into a bun that morning. The heat was almost unbearable during this time of year, and you often found yourself wishing for the more pleasant temperatures of Autumn. _Just a few more months,_ you told yourself with a slight smile. 

“Ugh! I swear I’m gonna die!” 

You broke out into a chuckle and rested a hand on top of your daughter’s head. “We’ll be home soon.” 

Kelsey tipped her head back and shot you a grin, that was already and adorably missing a tooth. Her violet eyes twinkled mischievously. “Can I swim once we get back?” 

“You’ll have to ask Mrs. Robertson for permission,” you told her, while using your fingers to comb her hair back from her heart shaped face. 

“She always says yes, and you always make me ask.” 

“Of course,” you said easily. “It’s not polite if you don’t ask permission.” 

The bus arrived and Kelsey reached for your hand. You helped her onto the bus and reached to pull her mass of chestnut hair up into a bun once you were seated. 

“See,” you said as you fastened an elastic band around the wavy tresses. “I told you it would be better to put your hair up today.” 

She pouted. “I like wearing it loose.” 

You tweaked her nose, which send her into a fit of giggles. “But sometimes I’m right, you know.” 

“Will you swim with me?” she asked. 

You checked your watch. You had plenty of time left before you had to start on dinner. And since you were planning something simple, you could spare some time to chase your daughter around the pool. 

You gave her a challenging look. “I want a rematch.” 

“Deal!” She grinned and was out of her seat before the bus had reached your stop.

“Wait up, Kels!” You chased after her and grabbed her hand before she could jump off the bus. For a four year old she was damn agile and fast. She certainly didn’t get that from you. “Hey. Easy, ok?”

“Yeah.” She skipped along next to you as you walked up along the side of the house and opened the gate to the backyard. “Can I go and ask now?” 

“Sure.” You let go of her hand and watched her chase off to the back of the house to knock on the back door. 

You shook your head and smiled, before continuing on though the enormous backyard to the cabin that stood along the back of the property. Even to this day you were glad for the accommodations the elderly couple living in the large estate had provided you with. It wasn’t if you had much of a choice. With your fake ID it was impossible to apply for housing, as you still feared discovery. Even after almost five years, you still were very careful.

It had been pure luck that you had encountered Mrs. Robinson shortly after your arrival in the town. You had taken up residence in the little hotel in the center, which turned out to be owned by her and her husband. She had taken one look at your pregnant belly and had promptly offered you a place to live. Her kindness had been like a balm, and all your fears and uncertainties about your future had been put to rest. 

You now managed the hotel, while the Robinsons enjoyed their retirement and spend most of their time traveling. They treated Kelsey as if she were their granddaughter, and for that you were eternally grateful. 

“Oh! Look at you today!” you heard Mrs. Robinson exclaim to Kelsey as she opened the backdoor.

“Hiya! Can I swim in the pool?” 

“Of course you can!” You could clearly hear the smile in her voice as she spoke to your daughter.

You opened the door to the cabin and stepped inside while glancing at the house, and your daughter that stood on the steps that led to the back door. Even now she could still make your throat ache with her resemblance to her father. The hair, the face, the eyes… even her personality was the same. It led you to believe that most of what you had seen of Duo had been real. Or rather, you wished for it. 

The first few months it had been hard to look at Kelsey. It had made you feel terribly guilty, because the love you had felt at first sight had been incredibly fierce at the same time. Over time it had become easier, but sometimes it would still creep up on you. 

It would make you wonder. How was he doing? Did he think about you? 

You didn’t notice you had sank down on the couch, until Kelsey came bouncing into the house. The smile left her face when she noticed the expression on your face.

“Mommy?” She stepped in between your legs and rested her hands on your thighs. “Why are you crying?” 

“What? Oh!” You quickly wiped at your cheeks and gave her a smile. “It’s nothing, Kels.” 

“Are you sad?” she questioned with obvious concern.

You gathered her close and settled back on the couch with her on your lap. “Not really, Baby.” 

You breathed her in, her scent warm and sweet, and sighed. There was no point in pining over your past or a man who had never loved you. You had Kelsey, and that was all you needed. 

She rested her head on your shoulder and wrapped her arms around your neck. “We can swim in the pool.” 

“Hmm…” You nuzzled her hair. “That will surely make us feel a lot better.” 

“Yeah…” She grinned. “Can we watch a movie tonight?” 

“Sure.” 

“Yay!” She scrambled out of your lap and raced to her bedroom. “I’m gonna change!” 

With a chuckle you got up and went into your own room to dig up your bathing suit. 

-x-x-x-

“Don’t forget you can take the car if you need, alright?”

You smiled at Mrs. Robinson and nodded, although you already knew you wouldn’t make use of the Range Rover gathering dust in the garage. They had bought it so you could use it whenever needed, but you always felt terrible when you did. You never wanted to intrude upon their kindness any more than you already had.

“I will,” you promised her.

She reached up to adjust the pins in her fashionable hairdo. Her brown eyes regarded you warmly. “Is Kelsey enjoying the new school year?” 

“Very much,” you said as you continued stacking the file folders in the reception area. “Her teacher says she is incredibly smart and way ahead of the other kids.” 

“Oh, that’s wonderful.” 

“Hmm…” You frowned as you checked the stack of reservations for the day. “I am a little worried she’ll have trouble making friends because of it.” 

Mrs. Robinson rested a comforting hand on your arm. “Don’t you worry about that, -Y/N-. She’ll be fine.”

“Yeah…” You sighed. “I guess.” 

Mrs. Robinson looked up when her husband came walking into the lobby. “Off we go.” 

You smiled at both of them. “Have fun!”

They left the lobby and you busied yourself going over the arrangements for lunch and dinner. You checked inventory with the cleaning staff and helped with the afternoon check-ins. By the time you could sit down with the reservations for the next day, it was already halfway through the afternoon. You worked through them and then locked up your office. 

You hummed to yourself as you left the hotel and walked the short distance to the school. Kelsey came bouncing out the building just as you reached the gates and she took a running leap into your arms. 

You chuckled and kissed the top of her head. “Hi Baby.” 

She grinned up at you. “Hiya.” 

You took her hand and together you walked down the street in the direction of the bus stop. “Did you have fun today?” 

“It was alright,” she said with a shrug.

Her tone of voice told you she was being evasive. “What’s the matter?” 

“Mia is not being nice to me.” She absentmindedly kicked at a rock and sent it skidding ahead of her. “I try to ignore her, but she tells other kids not to play with me.” 

You bit your lip and ran a hand over her hair in a comforting gesture. “I can talk to the teacher if you want.” 

She shook her head. “No. Lenny’s mom did that too and now nobody talks to him.” 

Your heart broke at her sullen expression. Your poor baby. 

“I’ll get over it,” she said with a bright smile. 

You weren’t fooled by that smile as you had seen it often on Duo’s face as well. But you let the subject rest, knowing she would eventually tell you everything once she was ready. 

You reached the house and Kelsey went to her room to play with her dolls, while you busied yourself with laundry and dinner preparations. You hummed to yourself as you worked, mixing spices and herbs for your stir-fried meal. You heard Kelsey enter the kitchen and turned to give her a smile.

She was biting her lip and fidgeted with the hem of her shirt. 

“What’s it, Kels?” you asked her, while wiping your hands on a kitchen towel. 

“Will I ever see Daddy?” she asked you in a small voice. “Mia says he doesn’t exist.”

You had always told yourself you’d be prepared if she ever asked questions. But every time she did, your heart plummeted and your stomach tied itself into knots. Talking about Duo was hard, because you were always painfully reminded of his betrayal. 

“He is real, Baby,” you said softly. “You know he is.”

“Yes, but…” she trailed off and looked at her feet. 

You approached her and picked her up, settling her on your hip as you walked into her bedroom.You settled down on the edge of her bed and reached for the picture frame on her nightstand. 

“You look like him,” you said softly as she shifted so she could look at the picture of you and Duo as well.

“I know.” She reached out and placed a finger onto the glass. “But I wanna know what he is like.”

“Much like you,” you said softly while stroking a hand over her hair. 

“You think?” she looked at you with a hopeful smile on her face. “Do you think he’ll like me?” 

“I hope so.” You kissed her forehead. “After all, what’s not to like about you?” 

She giggled and wrapped her arms around your waist. 

“Feeling better?” you asked.

“Yes.” She smiled at you. 

“Good. Are you hungry?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Let’s eat.”

After dinner you helped Kelsey shower and get ready for bed. In her pajamas, she walked into the living room, carrying a hair brush and a hair tie. 

“Can you braid my hair, Mommy?” 

“Sure thing.”

You settled on the couch while she made herself comfortable on the carpet in front of it. You gathered her mass of hair in your hands and brushed out the knots. You took your time braiding her hair, knowing she wanted a tight braid, so her hair would be wavy in the morning. When you were done, she jumped up and grinned. In that instant, she was the splitting image of her father, and it always made your heart thud painfully.

He would never know how wonderful she was, how much joy she had brought you. By running away you had protected his identity, but also had denied him his right to be a father. He had missed so much. Her first smile, her first tooth, her first steps. You kept a detailed diary and photo log on your laptop, but you damn well knew it wasn’t the same as seeing it in real life. Those moments would never come back.

You got up. “Want some tea?” 

“Yeah!” She smiled and went to put her brush away.

You walked into the kitchen and prepared tea, taking a moment to gather yourself. 

“Do you think Daddy is still mad at you?” 

You jumped at Kelsey’s unexpected question and dropped the mug you had been holding. It shattered on the tiles. “Fuck!” 

“Sorry!” She moved into the kitchen, but you quickly held up a hand.

“Stay there, Baby,” you said and crouched down to pick up the shards. “It’s okay.”  
Kelsey left the kitchen and returned with the broom and dustpan. “Here.”

“Thanks.” You quickly cleaned up the mess and got out a new mug. “What did you want to ask me?” 

“Is Daddy still mad at you?” 

You thought for a moment, then answered carefully. “I don’t know. I hope not.”

She reached for you and wrapped her arms around your leg. You ran a hand over her hair, sighing quietly to yourself. She was full of questions today it seemed. You tried swallowing the lump the wanted to form in your throat. From the moment she had been old enough to understand, you had honestly told Kelsey that her father wasn’t around because you had made some terrible mistakes. She knew he lived far away and you had given her the picture on her nightstand when she had started asking what he looked like. You could hardly blame her for her curiosity. 

“If he is no longer mad at you, can we go and live with him?” She sounded so hopeful it brought tears to your eyes. 

“Oh, Kels…” You scooped her up and buried your face in her hair. “If it were possible, I’d do it in a heartbeat.” 

“Maybe you can even marry him so we will be a real family.” 

You chuckled through your tears and kissed the top of her head. “That would be nice wouldn’t it?” 

She smiled up at you and reached up to wipe your cheeks. “Yeah…” 

You didn’t want to give her any false hope, but she was gazing up at you with so much adoration in her eyes, you couldn’t stop yourself. “Who knows.” 

She giggled and snuggled into your shoulder. 

“Let’s get that tea, shall we?” you asked her. 

She nodded and slid out of your arms. You poured the tea and carried the mugs to the living room. Kelsey snuggled into you on the couch, and fell asleep against you after some time. You carefully took the empty mug from her and carried her to bed. You lovingly ran a hand over her hair as she snuggled into her pillow and leaned in to kiss her temple.

“I love you, Kels,” you whispered.

You got up and left the room, leaving the door ajar. You sank down on the couch and stared at the picture on your coffee table. You leaned forward and rested your elbows on your knees, burying your face in your hands, a deep, tormented sigh escaping you. It never got easier, you thought. But one day, you vowed, you’d be able to tell Kelsey about Duo without feeling depressed afterwards.

-x-x-x-

You grumbled to yourself as you pulled the hood of your coat over your head. The pouring rain refused to let up, forcing you to take the damn car to work. You were glad now though, because it allowed you stack up on the groceries. 

You got a cart and entered the store, taking out your phone to check your grocery list. You went around, selecting vegetables and meat for a couple of days. You pushed your cart into the next aisle and that was when you saw her.

She stood at the end of the aisle, her back turned towards you, the fiery red hair pulled up in a ponytail. The posture was alarmingly familiar and made your heart stop right in your chest. She turned her face sideways and you swallowed thickly as fear send your heartbeat skyrocketing. _Ivy._ You darted back and out of sight, pressing your back against the end cap of the aisle. You closed your eyes for a moment and breathed deeply. You dared a look around the corner. It definitely was her. 

_How had she found you?_ Better yet, why was she not in prison? Had she managed to escape from Duo’s house that evening?

You released a trembling breath and abandoned your cart, making a mad dash back to the store’s entrance. You had to get out now. You raced towards the entrance gate and fell down to your knees, sliding out underneath it. The next moment you were up and running, back to the Range Rover.

In the car you tried to keep a clear head as you wrestled it along corners in the pouring rain. You’d have to get away. But how? If Ivy had managed to find you in this little town, she was likely to find you in other places. You couldn’t go to the police, because they would surely arrest you and then Kelsey would probably be left at the mercy of your parents.

That thought alone was sickening. 

You parked the car along the street and darted out, racing through the backyard and into the cabin. You gathered clothes for you and Kelsey, packed up her favorite teddy bear and some toys, and hesitated only a brief moment over the picture frame. On an impulse you stuffed it in the bag you had packed for her. If Ivy came sniffing your trail, it was best not to leave any clues behind. 

You went into your own room and gathered your laptop and the stash of fake passports from the back of your closet. You frantically packed your clothes, zipped up both bags and were out of the door in an instant. You raced back to the car and threw the bags in the trunk before getting in and turning the key in the ignition. You realized your breathing was out of control and took a moment to calm yourself down. If you showed up at school like this, people would ask questions. 

You rested trembling hands on the steering wheel and drove off. It was a short distance to the school by car, and you used the time to think up a story you could feed to the teacher. As you parked your car close to the entrance, you dared a look in the mirror. Your face looked ashen and your eyes wild. 

You scrambled out and darted a look around, grateful to find the street deserted. You raced to the entrance and slowed your pace to a walk, trying not to raise any attention to yourself. You found the classroom and knocked on the door. Knowing it was highly unusual to barge into the classroom without the consent of the receptionist, you tried for a calm front. 

When you opened the door the teacher turned towards you and gave you a questioning look. Kelsey bolted out of her seat. “Mom?”

“Hi. I need to pick up Kelsey,” you said to the teacher. “An emergency has come up.” 

“Oh…” Taken aback, the teacher looked confused for a moment, but Kelsey was already running towards you.

“I’m sorry.” You took Kelsey’s hand and pulled her outside. 

“What’s going on, Mommy?” Kelsey asked as you grabbed her coat and backpack from the coatrack along the wall. 

“We need to go,” you said.

You had no idea what to do, but you had to get her to safety. You’d drive and along the way you would come up with a plan. You lifted her up and quickly made your way outside, eyes darting around frantically as you ducked and ran towards the car. You opened the door to the backseat and set Kelsey onto the seat. 

“Can you buckle yourself up?” you asked.

She nodded vigorously and grabbed the seatbelt. 

You dashed around the car and got in, quickly starting the car and stepped on the gas. You navigated to the highway and frantically tried to figure out what to do. When you dared a look in to the rearview mirror, you found Kelsey looking at you with a questioning look in her violet eyes.

“Doing okay, Baby?” you asked her.

“Yes. Why did we have to leave so quickly?” she asked.

“I’ll explain it later, okay?” You concentrated on the road again and swallowed thickly at the sudden idea that came to you. 

It had fear clawing at your throat. The mere thought alone was enough to accelerate your heartbeat into a frenzy. But… it was the only way to keep Kelsey safe and to stay out of Ivy’s reach. Resigning yourself to your fate, you pushed a trembling hand into your pocket and dug out your phone. You quickly dialed the number and pressed the phone against your ear, praying that this would work out. The phone rang and was swiftly picked up. 

A perky voice greeted you. “Preventer Headquarters, this is Rosalind speaking. How may I help you?” 

“Hi. I need to speak to Agent Chang. Is he in? It’s an emergency.” 

“May I ask what you are calling about Miss?” the receptionist inquired.

You took a deep breath. “Yes. My name is -Y/N- -L/N- and I’m in need of Agent Chang’s assistance.” 

“One moment, I’ll see if he is available.” 

You waited with bathed breath as the call went on hold. Your heart was beating a mile a minute as you knew that nothing would be the same after this. But Kelsey was all that mattered and you’d do anything for her. Even if that meant turning yourself in.

The phone was picked up again, and you straightened in your seat at the familiar voice at the other end of the line. “-Y/N-.” 

“Hello Wufei,” you said carefully. “I’m in need of your help. Am I still on Preventer’s wanted list?” 

“You are.” 

“I see. One of Truth Seeker’s head members has found me. I’m willing to turn myself in and work with Preventer to get her behind bars.” 

You could hear the sound of typing and knew he was probably trying to locate your phone. “Where are you now?” 

“I’m driving to Philadelphia as we speak and will reach the airport in about two hours,” you said. “Can you guarantee me safe passage to Brussels?” 

“You can turn yourself in at the Preventer station in the city,” he said. 

“I can’t. I have to come to Brussels.” You tightened your grip on the steering wheel. “My daughter will be turned over to authorities otherwise and I won’t allow my parents to care for her.” 

“Your daughter?” The surprise was evident in his voice. 

“Please…” Your tone turned desperate. “Will you help me?”

He was quiet for a moment, then sighed. “Drive to the airport. I’ll arrange for an agent to meet you there. I’ll contact you within thirty minutes with the details.” 

“Thank you.” You breathed a relieved sigh. “Can I ask you one more favor?” 

“I won’t tell Duo yet.” 

His quiet tone was reassuring and send your eyes brimming with tears. “Thank you.” 

“I’ll call you.” 

He hung up and you focused your attention back to the road. 

“Are we going to the airport?” Kelsey asked. 

“We are,” you said, and tried to keep yourself from nervously gnawing at your bottom lip. “Would you like to go on an airplane?” 

Her eyes grew wide with excitement. “Can we? Really?” 

You laughed, but the sound of it was nervous. “Yeah.” 

“Wow…” Kelsey breathed in awe. “Have you been in an airplane before?” 

“Yes. Several times actually.” 

“Lenny said it hurt his ears.” 

“Oh. Well…” You chuckled and thought quickly. “We’ll buy some candy for you to chew on.” 

“Will that help?” 

“Probably.” The nerves didn’t disappear, but the conversation kept your thoughts away from them. “We are going to Brussels.” 

“Is that far away?” 

“Yeah…” You overtook a truck and steered the car back onto the right lane. “All the way across the ocean.” 

“Wow…” Awestruck, Kelsey’s wide eyes met yours in the rearview mirror. “Awesome!”

You smiled, but it was a lame attempt. More, you felt like crying because everything was going to change. You would drop a bomb on your daughter… and Duo. And the thought of facing him made your stomach turn with fear. 

You took a trembling breath and nearly jolted in your seat when your phone rang. You checked the number and picked up.

“Wufei?” 

“I’ve arranged for a flight for your and your daughter,” Wufei said. “The agent will accompany you.” 

To keep you from running away, you realized. Of course Wufei didn’t trust you. But you had no intention of escaping now that your daughter’s life was as much at stake as yours. “Thank you.” 

“I will meet you at the airport in Brussels,” Wufei said. 

“Okay.” 

“You are intending to fully cooperate with us?” he asked.

“Yes.” 

“Good. I’ll tell the Agent that. His name is Jared MaKenzie. He will be waiting for you at the information desk in Terminal Two.” You heard him shuffling some papers about. “I need to know who has found you, so we can send agents in.” 

“Ivy Lannister,” you said. “I encountered her in the supermarket in Bloomsburg, Pennsylvania.”

“You’re sure it was her?” Wufei asked. 

He didn’t sound skeptical, but the question made your nostrils flare. “I wouldn’t have called you if I wasn’t.”

“Right.” His tone warmed with amusement. “I’ll dispatch a team of Agents to check the town.”

You swallowed thickly. “Okay. I’ll let you know when I’ve arrived at the airport.” 

You ended the conversation and checked the rearview mirror. Kelsey was gazing outside, a look of wonder on her face. With a pang of guilt you realized she had never been this far from home. Your fear of discovery had kept you from traveling the past few years. All Kelsey had known was the relatively safe world you had kept her in. 

And once you arrived in Brussels, she’d realize how much you had kept from her and why. Nausea churned in your stomach. Your daughter would know about your shameful past and she probably would never look at you in the same way again. You could only hope she would forgive you.

-x-x-x-

 

Wufei was waiting at the bottom of the stair case as you descended from the plane. It was a rather windy autumn day, and the wind tore at his jacket and send wisps of hair flying around his face. His hair was longer than you remembered, but his expression still as stern as it had been five years ago. You clutched Kelsey closer as you approached him, Agent MaKenzie at your side. 

The elderly agent had been calm and quiet during the flight, which had suited you just fine. You hadn’t felt like making small talk with a stranger. He was carrying your bags as Kelsey was fast asleep, her head resting against your shoulder. 

You drew to a halt. “Wufei.” 

“-Y/N-.” He gave you a nod in greeting and reached to take one of the bags from Agent MaKenzie. “Let’s get into the car.” 

You followed him to the Preventer issued SUV that was waiting up ahead with the engine running. You carefully slipped into the backseat, and cradled Kelsey in your arms, leaning in to press a kiss against her forehead. She shifted in her sleep, but didn’t wake up. 

You braved a look at the Agent in the driver’s seat and sighed in relief when you found it to be a young man who looked eager to please his superior. Wufei got in on the passenger’s side, while Agent MacKenzie got in beside you. The silence in the car made you shift in your seat in apprehension as the young agent drove towards the exit of the airport. You realized all too well that they were working from protocol and that you had been treated as any other criminal that they were bringing in. You dreaded the arrival at Headquarters and it made an important question rise: Would Duo be there?

You involuntarily tightened your grip on your daughter and pressed her closer to you. _Whatever the outcome,_ you told yourself. Kelsey was safe.

“Take the next exit,” Wufei said after some time, as the young agent zipped the car along the highway and into the city.

His instructions made you frown. “Are you not bringing me into HQ?” 

Wufei turned his head to glance at you. “Given the circumstances, I thought it best to bring you to a safe house.” 

“Oh…” The confusion was almost overwhelming, but you also felt an enormous amount of gratitude.

Wufei continued to give the young agent instructions, and he drove into a neighborhood with a lot of apartment buildings. They seemed well kept, and the area surrounding them was a glorious display of autumn colors. The car drew to a halt and Wufei got out, mentioning you to follow him.

You scrambled out and Kelsey jolted awake.

“Easy Kels,” you murmured into her hair and tucked her head under your chin. “We’re almost there.”

Wufei got the bags from the trunk of the car, and the young agent drove off. 

“Come on,” Wufei said.

You followed him into the building and bit your lip as you stood waiting for the elevator. Kelsey was struggling to open bleary eyes and brought up a hand to rub the sleep from them. Wufei got his first good look at her as he turned around in the elevator. You watched as realization dawned and he went pale with shock. 

“She’s…” he started to say.

“Yeah…” You ran a hand over Kelsey’s head, smoothing her chestnut locks. 

Wufei visibly swallowed. The elevator arrived on the fifth floor and he got out when the doors opened, his shoulders stif and square with tension. You followed him onto the walkway. He halted in front of the final door and fished a set of keys out of his pocket.

He opened the door and gestured you to move inside. You did and cautiously walked through the hallway and into the living room. The room was spacious and light, decorated in warm cream colors. It looked inviting with the large couch covered in pillows, and the cozy dining set tucked into an alcove. You heard footsteps coming from the direction of what you guessed was the kitchen and immediately felt the tension creeping into your shoulders. With wildly beating heart, you turned towards the doorway.

Dina came walking into the living room, and the first thing you noticed was her very pregnant belly. 

“D-Dina?” 

She gave you a tentative smile. “Hi.” 

“Y-you…” You fell silent, speechless and dumbstruck at her appearance.

Wufei’s expression softened when he looked at her. She slid under his arm and smiled up at him. “Hey you.” 

Realization dawned. “You two…” 

Dina gave a small smile. “Yeah.” 

“Oh.” You shook your head. “Eh… Congratulations, I’d say.” 

“Thank you,” Wufei said. 

“The place is all clean,” Dina said. “We’ll just have to stock up on the groceries. I made a list.” 

“You sit down and I’ll go and get them,” Wufei said.

Dina smiled at him and nodded. She walked over to the dining table and picked up a notepad. “-Y/N-, would you take a look at it and add to it if something is missing?” 

“Sure…” You turned your attention to Kelsey, who was gazing at Wufei and Dina a little shyly. “I’ll have to put you down, Kels.” 

“Okay,” she said.

You lowered her down to the ground and reached for the notepad that Dina held out to you. Kelsey wrapped her arms around your leg as you studied the list. Dina had added the necessities to it and enough meat, fruits and vegetables for a few days. You noted down some of Kelsey’s favorite snacks and handed the notepad back. 

Wufei took the list from Dina and kissed her brow. “I’ll be going then.” 

You saw how his hand came to rest on her belly, and the tender gesture made a lump form in your throat and you absentmindedly rested a hand on top op Kelsey’s head. Your pregnancy had been very lonely and seeing Wufei and Dina like this was a blatant reminder of the fact that your baby’s father had not been there to touch your belly then it had been round with child. You swallowed thickly and gazed down at Kelsey.

“Why don’t we get out your toys,” you said softly.

“Did you bring Teddy?” she asked.

Your eyes filled. “Of course.” 

You took a moment to compose yourself, as Kelsey dashed over to her bag to dug out her toys.

Wufei didn’t comment on your show of emotion and swiftly left the apartment. Dina gave you a small smile. “Would you like some tea?” 

“Please.” 

You followed her into the kitchen. It was tiny, but well kept, the wood gleaming in the light that came pouring in through the window.

“The child…” Dina started as she poured water into the cooker. “She’s Duo’s.”

You nodded. “I found out I was pregnant after I left.” 

Dina gazed out of the window in silence for a while, a thoughtful expression on her face. “Well,” she said finally, her shoulders slumping slightly. “Thank God she looks like him so he won’t be able to deny her.” 

Her cryptic words and tone puzzled you and a frown formed on your face. 

“After you left…” Dina said. “Duo was really difficult to handle. Still is, actually.” 

You bit your lip. “Oh…” 

She shook her head. “Wufei tries to keep me out of it. The stress is bad for the baby.” 

“Did Duo… tell you about me?” you asked. 

Dina poured the water and held out a box of tea bags to you. You took it with you out of the kitchen and found Kelsey playing with her Barbies at the coffee table. Relieved that she seemed to feel at ease with the situation, you seated yourself at the table. 

Dina joined you and put one of the mugs down in front of you. With the tea steeping, she spoke up. “He did to some extend, but I always had a feeling he wasn’t telling me the whole story.” 

You gazed into your mug for a while, not knowing what to say. 

Dina reached out and rested a hand on top of yours. “What happened?” 

“Do you want the short or the long version?” you asked wryly.

“I think the short version will suffice for now.” 

You swallowed thickly and kept your voice low as you spoke. “I was part of Truth Seeker and joined Preventer to expose the Gundam Pilots.” 

Dina drew in a sharp breath. 

You gave her a wry smile. “But I found out that Truth Seeker had other plans and turned my back on them. Duo… Duo knew who I was and was assigned to me to expose me.” 

“Jesus.” Dina leaned back in her seat.

“To make things worse… I turned out to be in love with my brother’s killer.” You shifted in your seat. “And to him I was nothing more than a mission.” 

Gina had gone very pale, and sat staring at you in utter shock. “I… I don’t know what to say.” 

You shrugged. “I was going to confess everything to Duo. Truth Seeker captured us, but we managed to get out. He said he was going to turn me in and locked me up in his bedroom. I escaped when one of Truth Seeker’s members found me there and attacked me.”

You sipped your tea to soothe your suddenly dry throat. “She threatened to kill him if I didn’t tell her who the Gundam Pilots were. I ran because I realized that if I managed to disappear their identities would be protected.” 

“I’m so sorry.” Dina reached out again and grasped your hand. “You should have contacted us.” 

You shook your head. “I couldn’t. I didn’t want to risk it.” 

Dina sighed. 

“Mommy?” Kelsey left her Barbies at the coffee table and crawled into your lap. “What’s going on?” 

You ran a hand over her hair and gave her a small smile. “We had to go here, Kels. I had to bring you to a safe place.” 

“Where we in danger then?” she asked with wide eyes.

“I think so.” 

“Oh…” She turned her gaze towards Dina, who gave Kelsey a warm smile. “What’s your name?” 

Dina’s smile widened. “I’m Dina. What is yours?” 

“I’m Kelsey.” Your daughter cocked her head to the side. “You have a baby in your belly.” 

Dina’s hearty laughter filled the room, and it eased any of your last remaining nerves. You relaxed in your seat. 

“That I have,” Dina said with a grin. 

“Cool!” Kelsey’s voice was breathless with awe. “Does it kick sometimes?” 

You could barely contain an amused snort at her straightforwardness and curiosity. 

“Yeah. In fact, it’s kicking now. Do you want to feel it?” 

“Can I?” Kelsey’s eyes went wide and she was quick to scramble out of your lap. 

You rested your chin on your hand and watched as she moved around the table. Dina scooted her chair back and took Kelsey’s hand. She placed it on her belly. Kelsey giggled when she felt the baby move. 

“Wow.” 

“It’s kind of magical, isn’t it?” you asked her.

Kelsey nodded and kept her hand pressed against Dina’s belly. “Did I do that too?” 

“Yes. Quite vigorously,” you said with a chuckle. “You kept me awake quite a few nights.” 

“Oh…” Kelsey giggled and withdrew her hand from Dina’s belly. Her smile was wide as she gazed up at her. “When will the baby be born?” 

“In about two months.” Dina reached out and stroked a hand over her hair. “You have very pretty eyes.” 

“Thanks. I got them from my Daddy.” Kelsey’s tone was proud and she came bouncing back to you so she could sit in your lap again. “I’m hungry, Mommy.”

“We have to wait for Mister Wufei to come back with the groceries.” 

“He won’t take long,” Dina said, and on an afterthought added dryly, “I hope.” 

“How did you guys end up together?” you asked curiously.

She grinned. “History freaks.”

You chuckled. “Yeah, I remember.” 

“He asked me out on a date to the museum.” Dina’s smile grew warm and her eyes dreamy as she remembered. “It was so much fun that I asked him to dinner afterwards. We’ve been together ever since.” 

“What about July? Is she together with someone?” you asked.

Dina grew very still and shook her head. “No. She dates on and off, but nothing permanent.” 

Her tone was evasive and made you frown. “You’re not telling me something.” 

Dina bit her lip. “It’s not for me to say. She was really angry after you left, you know.” 

Your look turned somber. “I can imagine. She must have felt betrayed.” 

“That’s putting it lightly.” 

“She won’t be happy to see me then.” 

Dina pursed her lips. “I guess…” 

“I didn’t… I didn’t become friends with you with the intent to use you or anything,” you felt compelled to say. “I genuinely liked being friends with you. Same goes for July.” 

“It’s good to know that,” Dina said. “I have always kept hope that you would return some day so we could resolve the situation.”

“I’m here to do that.” 

“Wufei said you ran into someone from Truth Seeker.” 

You nodded and subconsciously tightened your grip on Kelsey. “I did. Do you know if Preventer managed to catch her?” 

Dina shook her head. “Wufei didn’t tell me.” 

Kelsey gave you a bright smile. “I liked being on the airplane.” 

You tweaked her nose. “Did you now?” 

She giggled. “Yeah!” 

“We should go and take a shower,” you said. 

“There is shampoo and shower gel in the bathroom,” Dina said.

“Great. Thanks.” 

You got up with Kelsey in your arms. Dina showed you the two bedrooms and the bathroom. You took a quick shower first, and then helped Kelsey to wash her hair. 

In the master bedroom, you sat her down on the stool in front of the vanity so you could brush the tangles from her hair. Dina sat down on the foot of the bed and watched the two of you with a warm smile on her face.

“You have to braid it!” Kelsey demanded. 

“Of course, baby.” You dropped a kiss on top of her head. “But first we have to get all the knots out.” 

You took your time, taking sections and detangling them carefully. All of you looked up when the doorbell rang.

You and Dina shared a look and Kelsey was hopping off the stool before you could stop her. “Maybe it’s Mister Wufei with the food!” 

“Kelsey!” You bolted after her in panic and saw she was reaching for the door handle. “Get back here!” 

But she had already opened the door. 

You heart stopped right in your chest. _No. God no._

Duo stood in the doorway, absolutely frozen and his eyes wide with shock as he gazed down at the little girl in front of him. Acting on instinct, you dashed forward.

“You’re…” You heard Kelsey say.

You grabbed her and hauled her up, rapidly backing away to the safety of the living room. Kelsey squirmed in your grasp. “Mom!” 

You buried your face in her damp hair and swallowed thickly. “What where you thinking, Kels? You can’t just open the door.” 

“But…” She fell silent when Duo moved into the apartment.

He was dressed in black from head to toe, in a coat that reached his thighs over a black turtleneck. The black jeans were tight and had rips at the knees and the combat boots were scuffed and loosely tied. Five years ago he had been beautiful, but now he really took your breath away. The width of his shoulders couldn’t be hidden by the coat. His hair was still as long, the braid thick as it trailed over his shoulder and ended at the waistband of his jeans.

“Duo…” you whispered.

He slammed the door shut behind him. “So you’ve come back.” 

You felt Dina’s warm hand on your shoulder and took comfort in her gesture. “Duo,” she said. “What are you doing here?” 

“This is still my case,” he said coolly. “So I wonder why you and Wufei didn’t bother to tell me about this.” 

“You were taken off the case if I remember correctly,” Dina said curtly. 

Duo’s eyes narrowed as he gazed at you. You were shaking like a leaf, eyes wide with fear. You heart was beating so hard you feared he would hear it. Kelsey was gazing at him with wide eyes.

“Daddy…” you heard her whisper.

Duo visibly stiffened and his violet eyes flashed dangerously. “I’ll be taking you to Headquarters.” 

His words made your blood run cold. “Y-you…” 

Your vision swam, and the last thing you heard was Kelsey’s frantic cry as your legs gave out beneath you. 

-x-x-x-

When you came to again, you found Dina hovering over you. “There you are.” 

“Kelsey…” you managed weakly. 

“Mommy!” Sobbing hysterically, your daughter crawled into your arms and pressed her face into your shoulder. 

“Shh… It’s okay,” you soothed her.

Your head was still spinning and your body felt drained and weak. You were lying on the floor and the cold surface felt wonderful against your clammy skin. 

“What happened?” you asked.

“You fainted. Do you think you can sit up?” Dina asked.

“I think so.” You shifted and gently pushed Kelsey back so you could sit up. But the moment you did, the room spun around you. “Woah.” 

Strong hands grabbed your arms, and the next moment you were hauled off the floor. You stiffened when you realized it was Duo. 

He set you down on the couch and pushed your head down. “Keep your head between your knees and breathe slowly. You’re hyperventilating.” 

You hadn’t even realized your breathing was so out of control and obediently lowered your head between your knees. Kelsey was sobbing again and you blindly reached out for her.

“Kels, it’s okay.” 

“You just… fell,” she hiccuped, while grasping onto your hand. “I was really scared.” 

“Shh…” You tugged her closer and she crawled onto the couch and leaned into your side when you slowly sat up straight. Dina offered you a glass of water, which you took with trembling hands. “Thanks.” 

You sipped the water and Dina took it from you again so you could comfort Kelsey. She burrowed into your embrace, her tears staining the fabric of your sweater. You gently stroked her hair and dared a look at Duo. 

He was gazing at you and Kelsey with a guarded look in his eyes. His shoulders were stiff and square with tension and he practically thrummed with it. You wondered with he was thinking, but it was impossible to guess. He had spoken about bringing you in. That meant that you really hadn’t been more to him than a mission. The thought made you feel incredibly sad. 

“I think it’s better if you leave,” Dina told him.

Duo shook his head. “The Hell I’m not.” 

Dina sighed and reached for Kelsey. “Come on Honey, let’s go and get your hair done okay?” 

You gave her a grateful look and carefully got up from the couch. You felt much more at ease standing up. Looking up at him from your position on the couch made him seem terribly intimidating. 

When the door to the master bedroom fell shut, you spoke up. “I’m sorry…. I didn’t mean for you to find out like this.” 

“It’s a little late for that,” he said. 

“But still…” you sighed. 

“How old is she?” 

“She turned four in June.” You tried to keep your tone neutral.

Until now you hadn’t noticed how pale he was, but now you did. His skin was drained of color, and the skin around his eyes was taut with tension. Even so, he was surprisingly calm.

“She looks just like me,” he murmured.

You pursed your lips. “That she does. I like to think she is much like you as well.”

He was silent for some time, looking deep in thought. You gave him the time he needed, knowing he had a right to his questions and that you had to answer them. 

“How? You said you were on birth control,” he finally said. 

“I know…” You shrugged. “I didn’t skip a day or anything.”

He sighed. “And she knows about me?” 

Your tone sharpened somewhat. “To some extend. She knows you weren’t around because of my mistakes. She knows what you look like because I gave her a picture of us.” 

He started pacing, to the window and back. He looked like a caged animal, the dangerous glint back in his eyes. “Why did you come back?” 

“Because you failed to arrest that bitch I left tied to your bed.” 

He snorted. “Right.” 

“I ran into her in the supermarket yesterday. I left everything behind because I needed Kelsey to be safe.” 

“So you’re planning to dumb her on me.” 

His curt tone made anger flare. “No. I couldn’t turn myself in back in the US because Kelsey would have been turned over to my parents then.” 

“So? Problem solved.” 

“I told you about my parents didn’t I?” 

He halted and gave you a skeptical look.

“Duo,” you said, almost pleadingly. “The only thing I kept from you was Truth Seeker. The rest… All of it was true.” 

“You left.”

“To protect you.”

He scoffed. “I don’t need protecting.” 

“Ivy found me! She wasn’t going to stop until she knew!” you exclaimed. “I was scared, okay?” 

“Of what?” he snapped. “Prison?” 

“Prison was the least of my worries,” you argued. “I found out things that Truth Seeker was after. I ran away to stay out of their hands.”

“Yeah right.” He sounded like he didn’t believe a word of what you were saying.

“Unlike you, I’m not trained to withstand torture.” 

He froze an gazed at you with wide eyes.

“I discovered things that could threaten the peace. I didn’t want to have such a conflict on my conscience.” You shook your head and wrapped your arms around yourself. You were tired and fainting hadn’t helped your condition any. You sank down on the couch and buried your face in your hands. “I’m sorry.” 

Duo stuffed his hands into the pockets of his jeans and remained silent. 

You desperately fought back the tears, but they came anyway and burned hotly in your eyes. All this time you had stupidly hoped that if you ever were to see Duo again things would turn out for the better. But here you were, on the verge of a break down while he could only look at you with accusation in his eyes. You saw so many similarities between him and Kelsey, and yet… 

“All I could think of was that I had to keep your secret safe,” you said brokenly. “And for what anyway? You still hate me.” 

He sighed. “My personal feelings are of no matter.” 

You looked up at him with tear stained cheeks. “Aren’t they?” 

He sank down onto the arm chair. “No.” 

“I think they do matter,” you bit out. “After what you did to me, I think I have a right to know.” 

Anger flushed his cheeks and send his eyes blazing. “Be careful.” 

“Or what? The things you did had very big consequences!” You balled your hands into fists and glared at him. 

He shot up and started pacing again. It occurred to you that he was viciously fighting the urge to bolt out of the apartment. Duo had become difficult to handle, Dina had said. Right now he looked a lot like Kelsey whenever she had temper tantrum. Another thing they had in common.

It was a good thing you knew how to handle that. You took a deep breath and got up. When he came walking past you, you reached out and snatched his wrist.

His fury was apparent on his face and in his voice. “Let go of me,” he hissed.

“I think not.” 

“I’m serious -Y/N-.” 

Your lips twitched. “Do you think I didn’t learn anything the past five years? I raised your daughter on my own and I see an expression I recognize all too well. You don’t like being confronted with the harsh truth.” 

He stilled, baffled by your observation. 

“So I’ll give you two options. Either you listen to me now, or you go cool off and come back when you can behave like an adult.” 

His eyes narrowed. “The fuck are you talking about?” 

You let go of him and stepped back. “You heard me. It’s your choice. But understand that Kelsey is innocent in all of this, and therefore not to blame. If you hurt her I’ll never forgive you.” 

“Of course not,” he snapped. “She’s just a child. What do you take me for?” 

You raised an eyebrow and eyed him up and down cynically. “I don’t know what to take you for. You lied to me, so can you blame me?” 

You demonstratively walked away and opened the door to the master bedroom. You found Dina and Kelsey in front of the vanity, where Dina was at work with the blowdryer on your daughter’s hair. You were so thankful you could have kissed her. With the sound of the blowdryer Kelsey wouldn’t have been able to hear anything what was being said in the next room.   
With a heavy sigh, you sank down on the bed. “I could sleep for a week.” 

“Is the jet leg catching up on you?” Dina turned of the blowdryer and picked up a brush to run through Kelsey’s hair. “Gee… look at all that hair…” 

“Yeah…” you sighed. “Want me to braid it?” 

“No, I’ll do it,” Gina insisted. 

“Daddy has long hair too,” Kelsey said with a bright smile. 

“Hmm…” You collapsed back on the bed and closed your tired eyes.

“Wufei is on his way,” Dina said and her tone turned apologetic. “I called him. We have no idea how Duo managed to find out.” 

“Don’t worry about it.” You rubbed a hand over your face. “I can’t believe I practically fainted at the sight of him.” 

“Is he still here?” Dina asked.

“I don’t know.” 

Kelsey made a grab for the brush in Dina’s hand. “Mommy?” 

“Yes Baby?” 

“Do you think Daddy would braid my hair for me if I asked him to?” 

Her question had your eyes brimming with tears. “I think it’s best if we leave him alone for a while.” 

“Oh…” At the crushed look on her face, the tears cascaded down your temples to disappear into your hair.

Dina gave Kelsey a gentle shove. “Go ask him, Honey.” 

“Can I?” The hopeful look returned and your daughter practically danced out of the room. 

“Dina…” 

She smiled at you and sank down on the mattress. “Don’t worry. He won’t be able to resist her charm.”

“She’s my baby and I don’t want him to hurt her.” You sat up and wiped your tears away. 

Dina wrapped her arm around your shoulders. “He won’t. And if he does, he is the biggest idiot on the planet.” 

“He never loved me.” The first sob tore from your throat. “It’s so painstakingly clear now. And all this time… I’ve been so foolish hoping that there was a possibility. That he didn’t pretend.” 

“Foolish? I think not.” Dina tightened her gip on your shoulders. 

You pressed your hand over your mouth to muffle the sobs, the tears running freely now. All the terror and stress of the past twenty four hours came pouring out. You cried until your tears had soaked the fabric of Dina’s dress, until your throat felt raw and aching, until your eyes were swollen. You didn’t even notice when Dina carefully lowered you to the bed, her hand soothingly stroking over your hair and back. You were fast asleep when she pulled off your shoes and covered you with the blanket. 

-x-x-x-

Rain was beating against the windows in an unending crescendo when you woke up. It was already dark outside, telling you that you had slept the better part of the day away. But your mind was clear and you felt much better. Rested, stronger. You got up and brushed your teeth in the bathroom before venturing into the living room. 

Kelsey was fast asleep on the couch, tucked under a fleece blanket, her teddy bear clutched to her chest. You totally ignored Wufei and Duo sitting at the dining table and went over to her, crouching down to kiss your daughter’s temple. She shifted in her sleep but didn’t wake up. You smiled and stroked a hand over her hair.

Dina came walking out of the kitchen. “Hey. Did you sleep well?” 

You nodded and smiled sheepishly. Your eyes were still slightly swollen from crying and it was an uncomfortable reminder of your emotional state earlier. 

“I put some soup for you in the fridge. I can heat it up, if you want.” 

Your stomach rumbled loudly in answer and you chuckled. “Thank you.” 

“Dina and I will be leaving soon,” Wufei said. “Duo will stay with you if that it okay with you?” 

“I guess I won’t have much of a choice,” you said with a shrug.

“I’ll be back in the morning and then we’ll dive into your history with Truth Seeker.” Wufei closed the laptop in front of him. 

“Okay.” The prospect made you feel nervous, but at the same time if felt like a burden was lifted from your shoulders. You could finally tell your story, all of it, and hopefully it would mean that Preventer would catch the Truth Seeker members still out there. 

Dina came out of the kitchen and set a steaming bowl down on the table. “There you go.” 

“Thanks.” You walked over and sat down in the chair next to Wufei. 

You practically inhaled the soup, not really realizing how hungry your were until your first taste of it. Wufei and Dina got ready to leave, and Duo got up to walk them to the door.

When he returned, your nervousness increased tenfold as you suddenly realized you were alone with him. You gazed at him in silence as he sat down opposite you. He had pushed up the sleeves of his sweater, displaying toned forearms. His left arm now also sported ink. Roses and vines mingled with integrate symbols on his skin in shades of grey and black. 

“I’m sorry about earlier,” he said quietly. “I didn’t realize how tired you were.” 

“Apology accepted,” you said, while shifting your attention towards your daughter. 

You didn’t feel comfortable talking to Duo with her in the room, so you got up and moved to check on her. You carefully picked her up and walked into the master bedroom. 

Kelsey woke up when you lowered her down on the bed. “Mommy?” 

“Yes, Baby, it’s me.” 

A smile came to play over her face and she opened sleepy eyes. “Are you okay now?” 

You stroked a hand over her head. “Yeah.” 

“‘Kay… Is Daddy still here?” 

“I am,” came Duo’s voice from the doorway. 

The fact that he didn’t deny her words or seem to mind what she called him, made your heart skip a beat. 

“Go back to sleep, Kels,” you told her softly. “We’ve had a very long day.” 

“Yeah…” Her eyes were drifting shut already. 

“I love you, Baby.” 

“Love you too…” she mumbled sleepily.

You smiled and leaned in to kiss her forehead, running a hand over the neat and tight braid in her hair. Definitely Duo’s work, you concluded and the simple idea made you feel warm all over. You got up and left the bedroom, shutting the door behind you. 

“I thought about what you said.” Duo followed you into the kitchen where you went to wash out the empty soup bowl.

“Oh.” You scrubbed the bowl and absentmindedly watched soapy suds wash away from the porcelain. “Okay.” 

“I have questions.”

“Naturally.” You dried the bowl and set it down, turning around to look at him. 

He stood leaning against the counter, hands stuffed into the pockets of his jeans. It was… Almost a familiar setting. How often had you been like this, in the kitchen of his house, just talking after a long day at work? Except, you once again realized with a pang, it hadn’t been real.

“I have some questions of my own,” you said.

He nodded. “I understand.” 

You sighed and reached for the coffee machine. “You want some?” 

“Sure.” 

You prepared coffee and carried two steaming mugs to the dining table. Duo sat down opposite you and for a moment you wondered if it would have been like this five years ago, if you hadn’t run away. The way he held himself was cool and distant, as if he was going to interrogate you. He was probably itching to do it, you realized. After five years, he finally had the chance. 

“Why did you join Truth Seeker?” he started.

You cradled your mug between your hands and stared into the dark liquid it contained. “My brother died and none thought it necessary to bring his killer to justice.” 

He shifted in his seat, obviously uncomfortable about you mentioning Mike. 

“I joined rallies and protest marches, but none would listen to us. The government thought it more important to contain the peace, than to look for those that had escaped punishment. I was just… so angry,” you said with a sigh. “But I understand now. The government didn’t bring you or any of the other Gundam Pilots to trial because they needed you to maintain the peace. I saw how hard you worked for it.” 

You took a sip from your coffee and put the mug down again, staring off into the distance. “I met Christian Raby at one of these marches. I admired his strong opinion on the matter and he told me about this organization he had formed that wanted to expose the Gundam Pilots. I was hesitant at first, because I wasn’t sure how it would work. He charmed me. I was young, insecure, and he seemed to wise. I should have seen it for what it really was, that he was exploiting my anger and hurt for his own personal gain. But I didn’t…” 

“Did he…” Duo started to ask, then fell silent.

You blinked. “Did he what?” 

“You mentioned he used you… back when we were captured.” 

“I was young and insecure and he seemed like a hero. So yeah… I had a brief affair with him.” You leaned back in your seat and pursed your lips in thought. “It ended when I enrolled in the academy.” 

You noticed how Duo turned his head so you couldn’t see his expression. 

“What’s the matter?” you asked.

When he met your gaze, his expression was gloomy and remorseful. “I’m not proud of the way I treated you.” 

You swallowed thickly, not knowing how to respond to that.

“The whole case… It made me question my integrity and willingness to continue working for Preventer.” Duo shook his head and sighed. “I haven’t taken on another case like this.” 

“I see…” 

“I was never given any restrictions to the way I handles my cases.” Duo gave a shrug. “Une never questioned the hows and whys, as long as I completed them and didn’t cause any unnecessary exposure in the media. In a way I’m no better than Christian Raby.”

“Maybe not,” you agreed quietly, making him flinch. “You made me question everything I believed in. I even wanted to forgive you for killing my brother… And then it all turned out to be a lie.” 

You bit your lip. “Did it ever made you feel uncomfortable?” 

“You have no idea,” he said after some time. “I had quite a few sleepless nights during that time.” 

“I never noticed,” you murmured. “But that means you do have a conscience.” 

“Of course I do,” he said with a sigh. 

“I want… No, I need to know how much of it was an act.” 

“-Y/N-…” He shook his head. “Don’t.” 

You stared at him, long and hard, and he promptly got up and stalked over to the window. He stood brooding in silence, tension radiating off of him in waves. 

You got up as well and walked over to him. “Maybe I’m just being foolish,” you said softly. “But a part of me still wonders. The way you kissed and touched me… that’s not the way of someone who is pretending.”

He shook his head. “Maybe I’m just a convincing actor.” 

“Do you really think so?” you asked. “Wasn’t there a part of you that wanted you to be wrong about me?”

“What do you mean?” he asked while turning around.

“What if I hadn’t been part of Truth Seeker… what then?” 

He shook his head. “We shouldn’t talk about what ifs.” 

“Maybe not,” you agreed reluctantly. You sighed deeply and went back to the table. When he sat down opposite you again, you spoke up again. “Do you think I should be in prison?” 

The question obviously stunned him and he gazed at you in surprise. “Why are you asking me this?” 

“Because I want to know what you really think of me.” 

He leaned back in his seat and crossed his arms in front of his chest. The movement made his biceps bulge underneath the fabric of his sweater and you were acutely reminded of how attractive he was. 

“You were part of a terrorist faction,” he said. 

“I turned my back on them,” you countered quietly. “I was going to confess everything to you so you could stop them.” 

“So you say…” 

The smile you gave was sad around the edges. It pained you that he still didn’t believe you. “You saw for yourself how they treated me. You saw for yourself how I killed Chris.” 

He sighed. “That’s true.” 

“Then why do you choose not to believe me?” you inquired.

“You evaded arrest,” Duo said, not answering your question. “Obstruction of justice alone could land you in prison for two years.” 

Your breath left your lungs in a rush. _Two years._ You pressed your hands over you eyes. You knew that, when you had contacted Wufei, prison could be one of the consequences of turning yourself in. But to hear Duo say it so bluntly was confronting. Two years… and Kelsey was still so young. How would it impact her? 

“Maybe the judge will be resilient if you cooperate with Preventer.” Duo gave a shrug. 

“I said I would do that,” you said. “You still haven’t answered my question.” 

He sighed. “Honestly… I don’t know.” 

A frown formed on your face. “What do you mean?” 

He tried a smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “The whole case is a mess. You were part of a terrorist faction, but the way I handled the investigation put Preventer in a precarious position. All my cases needed to be reviewed again.” 

“We were both wrong,” you concluded. “I was an angry teenager and you were an ambitious agent.” 

“I guess…” He finished his coffee and got up to refill his cup in the kitchen.

You got up and followed him, putting your mug down in the sink. You stared outside as you spoke, finding it easier not to look at him if you voiced your feelings. “I don’t hate you for what you did. If anything, I’m grateful.”

“Are you?” he sounded skeptical. 

You smiled and looked at him. “You gave me Kelsey. She is the best thing that has happened to me.” 

The look on his face softened somewhat. “She… she’s a sweet girl.” 

“Yeah…” Your tone warmed. “She is.”

“Was it difficult to raise her on your own?” 

“Sometimes it still is…” you admitted. “Sometimes it still catches me off guard how much she looks like you. The first few months… it was really hard to look at her. And at the same time, I loved her so fiercely.”

You shook your head, as if to shake off the memories. “I was all she had, so I had to take care of her.”

“What did you tell her about me?” 

You bit your lip. “I try to answer any question she has honestly. I don’t want her to have unrealistic expectations or give her false hope. But I couldn’t bring myself to speak ill of you, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

He rested a hand on your shoulder, and the gesture compelled you to meet his gaze. You found yourself drowning in the violet depths without meaning to. It left you feeling helpless and strangely vulnerable. 

“I didn’t think you would,” he said quietly. 

He wasn’t so different from what he showed you five years ago. It was a world away from the way he had acted that afternoon, but you could imagine he had been shaken up and thrown off by having a child of his own thrown into his face. 

You felt your lips twitch into a small smile. “You’re not so different now from what I saw back then.” 

He slowly withdrew his hand and you found yourself missing the feeling of it. 

“You think?” he asked with a sigh.

“Yeah…” You looked away from him. “So what happens now?” 

“There is something we have to take care of,” he said, and sounded reluctant at the prospect. 

“Oh?” 

He walked back into the living room and you followed him with a frown on your face. He made a grab for the bag that was next to his place at the table and pulled out an ankle bracelet. 

“Oh…” You gave a somewhat sheepish smile and chuckled. “I was expecting something much worse.” 

His lips quirked into a grin. “Really? You’re okay with this?” 

“I turned myself in, didn’t I?” You sat down in your chair and pulled up your pant leg so he could fasten the bracelet around your ankle. “To be honest, I expected to spend the night in a cell at HQ.” 

Duo went to work, and you shivered at the familiar feeling of his callused fingers against your skin. 

“I’m sorry,” he said when he straightened. “About the way I acted this afternoon. I was being an ass.” 

You shook your head. “I can imagine seeing Kelsey was quite a shock for you.” 

He snorted. “That’s an understatement.” 

“In case I do have to go to prison…” you said softly. “Would you consider taking care of her?” 

He bit his lip. “I don’t know. I’m not exactly father material.” 

“I won’t force you into a father role if that’s not what you want,” you promised. “But it would be nice if you got to know Kelsey. She’s been wanting to meet you from the moment she was old enough to understand that there wasn’t a father in her life.” 

His lips twitched and he nodded. “I’ll think about it.” 

You smiled. “Thank you.” 

You still felt uncertain, still had no idea what was to happen after this. But at least Kelsey was safe. It was all that mattered. 

“I kept a diary and photo log of her on my laptop,” you said softly. “If you want… you can take a look at it.” 

He gave a nod and smiled at you. “Yeah. That would be great.” 

**\- End part 4 -**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked this part! Let me know what you think of it! :)

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this part! I’m currently working on the second part, but it’s going to take some time yet. Please let me know what you think of this story so far!


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